Why is it that I put myself in this position every single time I have the chance? Are any of you really out there or is this just fantasy? I take a day to dissect my heart just so you can tell me you're there and i'm just blind although I can see perfectly? To some of you, I am wronging and rejecting what you are giving and I apologize, these words are not for your ears, these are for those whom tell me that I did a good thing and walk away wiping the relationship status off with a sigh of relief knowing they'll never speak to me again. That is, if they even initially cared about me, and knew I existed, and had any doubts about my decision to live.
I build you a house without you asking, you live in it for a day and then burn it down.
But it's not fair! It's just not fair! I'm not allowed to rip my mind out of my body and show you it or else I become something you avoid. No matter how hard I try, I'm not trying, no matter what I write it's not written. Why does everything I do ultimately end in a fail? A year can be shown in a minute and what is felt? You think the world revolves around you your entire life, everything is based on you, you never stop to think "hey maybe everyone else feels like this? Maybe there is something I can do to make them feel good?" No, you don't, you never care, you always think about you and only you.
Thus, I am not apart of your life. I'm fucking dead inside, when I have headphones on, the sound waves just bounce off my hollow interior. You've hurt me.
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