Day and night are the same thing to me.
My life is just passing me by.
I hope there is no Heaven or Hell and that I just die.
Or else I have an eternity of torture infront of me.
While people are out there trying to take money from others
I am here sitting in my room writing about my life instead of living it
But you can't just live when you decide to
You need the opportunity
But what it comes down to is we are just human and evil
If we have everything we'll want more
We like to hate eachother and encourage violence
We dress ways to imply we're better than others
I know alot of you are like me
And I know alot care for me
But i'm finally experiencing that whole
"Who is your real friend" episode
And I think I have a pretty good grasp on it
it's not who comments my wall on facebook
or comments my notes or pics
or whatever
If you just talk to me
and know my name
and want to know me
then you are my friend
If you just use me to get good marks
or just to help you with your life problems
then tell me you love me
and walk away forever until YOU have a problem
You're not my friend
.
It doesn't matter what you do in the end sometimes
Like who you want hate who you will
Overall it's up to you
Vintage realtionships aren't necessarily the best
Eventually every relationship is vintage then what?
How am I supposed to win
Even though I'm smart I lose
Reward me with pain for my generosity
.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
She's dead alright
This dead music booming
waves in and out
controlling the beat of my heart
these quick lights
here these people are full of life
all the time
there is no day
only night
where the soul is free
always
Nothing here is real
but it's okay
I can live with fake
I can live with only dreams
Don't follow me into this one
You'll get hurt
This skin needs to be cut open
there's too much blood inside
let some nice cool air go through the overheated body
watch the steam arise
[not done, i'm tired, i'll finish later]
..
[continuing]
Like the trotting of a horse
or the awkward presence of a stranger
you can always recognize it
Remind yourself of the feeling of being in a dark room
after the end of a movie
you sit there
can't see anything
just sit
feel it
live it
it's in you
the tv turns to fuzz
you can feel the only light off the tv hitting your face
you wish your favourite sad song was playing
i'm a hyena laughing at myself
I'm water evaporating infront of you
oh and you put me in that strange mood
where everything is slow motion
and the guitars become less stringy
the heartbeat follows the drums
I breathe in the bass
how I love being in the city this late
to think people are resting now
why can't everyone be here
why can't we all be in unison
I'll have another drink
No it's alright, i'm not a smoker
The colours of this room turn me on
and I can feel everything
I'm floating in everything around me
the atmosphere is absorbed through my pours
the strobe light is no longer amusing
I'm getting high of everyone and thing in this room
you're all my ecstacy
my heart stops as I eye you
the horror, the paranoid thoughts
my mind implodes
inside my head is only darkness and fear
Don't see me, i'm not really noticable anyways
i'll leave what ineed want likelove to be safe
but before i do just one glance
after all you seem to be the reason i remain
oh how cute you are
your dancing is wearing you down
-the beat stops-
all this time
it was you I wanted
all those late nights
were my body slept but my mind stayed awake thinking of you
replaying the same moments of interactions between us
smiling in my sleep
a feeling I can only feel in my dreams surrounds me
and I wake without it, and where it isn't there is only pain and regret
I've wanted you for a very long time
I've made myself sick over this
mentally poisoned myself
and now there you are
and here I am
both aware of eachother
your hair covering your face
you look silly
i don't want to look silly
-the beat resumes-
Sweat falling from your face
the outfit of your choice become wrinkled and less valued
and you come to me
in this heat
in this time
with all this commotion
and knowing how i feel
you get me to dance
i lied, i wanted to look silly
soon the clothes of my choice become less valued too
in no time both me sweat and yours
as sour as they are
harmonize a rhythm
Both of us
dancing
It's the inevitable end that strikes me halfway through
All the sudden the man in charge of controlling our emotional movements tells us he will no longer control us
I'm sad and you are too
Maybe if we go back to one of spaces where we pretend to live because something is watching us, then maybe we can continue this flow
probably not
the car ride between spots would absolutely kill who we think we are
Maybe we are who we think we are an we're hiding from who we know we are, thus the situation has been reversed
That makes this fiction alot more of a reality
All this happens in my mind while you desperately search for a combination of notes and rhythms on the radio that could keep this alive
But then we crash and die
and lay dead, together, forever
our bodies cold, and there just as I say I love you, after all the things that have happened the song that made you dance with me comes on
you smile
waves in and out
controlling the beat of my heart
these quick lights
here these people are full of life
all the time
there is no day
only night
where the soul is free
always
Nothing here is real
but it's okay
I can live with fake
I can live with only dreams
Don't follow me into this one
You'll get hurt
This skin needs to be cut open
there's too much blood inside
let some nice cool air go through the overheated body
watch the steam arise
[not done, i'm tired, i'll finish later]
..
[continuing]
Like the trotting of a horse
or the awkward presence of a stranger
you can always recognize it
Remind yourself of the feeling of being in a dark room
after the end of a movie
you sit there
can't see anything
just sit
feel it
live it
it's in you
the tv turns to fuzz
you can feel the only light off the tv hitting your face
you wish your favourite sad song was playing
i'm a hyena laughing at myself
I'm water evaporating infront of you
oh and you put me in that strange mood
where everything is slow motion
and the guitars become less stringy
the heartbeat follows the drums
I breathe in the bass
how I love being in the city this late
to think people are resting now
why can't everyone be here
why can't we all be in unison
I'll have another drink
No it's alright, i'm not a smoker
The colours of this room turn me on
and I can feel everything
I'm floating in everything around me
the atmosphere is absorbed through my pours
the strobe light is no longer amusing
I'm getting high of everyone and thing in this room
you're all my ecstacy
my heart stops as I eye you
the horror, the paranoid thoughts
my mind implodes
inside my head is only darkness and fear
Don't see me, i'm not really noticable anyways
i'll leave what i
but before i do just one glance
after all you seem to be the reason i remain
oh how cute you are
your dancing is wearing you down
-the beat stops-
all this time
it was you I wanted
all those late nights
were my body slept but my mind stayed awake thinking of you
replaying the same moments of interactions between us
smiling in my sleep
a feeling I can only feel in my dreams surrounds me
and I wake without it, and where it isn't there is only pain and regret
I've wanted you for a very long time
I've made myself sick over this
mentally poisoned myself
and now there you are
and here I am
both aware of eachother
your hair covering your face
you look silly
i don't want to look silly
-the beat resumes-
Sweat falling from your face
the outfit of your choice become wrinkled and less valued
and you come to me
in this heat
in this time
with all this commotion
and knowing how i feel
you get me to dance
i lied, i wanted to look silly
soon the clothes of my choice become less valued too
in no time both me sweat and yours
as sour as they are
harmonize a rhythm
Both of us
dancing
It's the inevitable end that strikes me halfway through
All the sudden the man in charge of controlling our emotional movements tells us he will no longer control us
I'm sad and you are too
Maybe if we go back to one of spaces where we pretend to live because something is watching us, then maybe we can continue this flow
probably not
the car ride between spots would absolutely kill who we think we are
Maybe we are who we think we are an we're hiding from who we know we are, thus the situation has been reversed
That makes this fiction alot more of a reality
All this happens in my mind while you desperately search for a combination of notes and rhythms on the radio that could keep this alive
But then we crash and die
and lay dead, together, forever
our bodies cold, and there just as I say I love you, after all the things that have happened the song that made you dance with me comes on
you smile
Pezz
my heart exlpodes
from every perspective
every angle
too many memories, too many strong feelings
how it used to be, how it is
how it won't be, how it never was
and in every direction imaginable
my blood makes a beautiful painting
something almost alive
connects to you
talks to you
it's not quite dead
why is it impossible
full of colours never seen before
in shapes that make and contradict sense
something so full and satisfying you can't even imitate it
your head hurts in attempt to understand what it is
the deep emotional colours on a white wall
what was clean is still clean, just in a different way
there doesn't always have to be one way
this image finds time and stops it
it helps us all understand
it creates failure by comparision
yet as beautiful as it is
it leaves me heartless
from every perspective
every angle
too many memories, too many strong feelings
how it used to be, how it is
how it won't be, how it never was
and in every direction imaginable
my blood makes a beautiful painting
something almost alive
connects to you
talks to you
it's not quite dead
why is it impossible
full of colours never seen before
in shapes that make and contradict sense
something so full and satisfying you can't even imitate it
your head hurts in attempt to understand what it is
the deep emotional colours on a white wall
what was clean is still clean, just in a different way
there doesn't always have to be one way
this image finds time and stops it
it helps us all understand
it creates failure by comparision
yet as beautiful as it is
it leaves me heartless
Hate list
Saturday, December 30, 2006
The Hate list 1st edition (updated Sept.8th)
I'm always saying "I fucking hate this" well here's my list, maybe doesn't have everything and you'll probably find some hypocritism in it but this is it.
Teenagers
-Trends they so easily follow
-How predictable they are
-How badass they think they are
-How blind they are, they think that if they all dress the same, act the same, listen to the same music, complain about the same shit, and deny they're clones that they will be individuals.
-"No one knows the pain I go through, life is too hard, my parents shower me with gifts and anything i request I get but they still don't love me and they fight so much" Shut the hell up you spoiled brat, go live in a third world country to know pain, then again you stupid emo piece of shit, they probably don't have enough mascara. (I took the masacara thing from stfne)
-On myspace when their name is something that's supposed to be catchy. ie. mine would be something like Dynamite Derek
-When it's obvious that someone is a scene kid because of their iPod their myspace account, they take pictures of themselves 24/7 and post it on the internet, when they want someone to comment their space, when they wear Poka-dots & Stripes, think they're hardcore, list everyband they know on myspace under music, etc. and they deny it if you call them scene.
Media
Music
- Pop music. Fucking always comes no matter what and trend kids that think they're hardcore underground end up listening to this shit then denying it.
- commercial music, (not music in commercials) Commercial Rap fucking sucks, Commercial Rock fucking sucks, Country in general usual sucks.
Television
- MTV IS THE WORST FUCKING CHANNEL. All those reality shows about stupid young adults living in the same house with their gay fucking glasses, and gay music and gay lifestyles, or "Date my mom" who the fuck comes up with this shit? "Room Raiders" gayest shit ever. I'm not even going to talk about that Laguna Beach show or whatever it's called. I thought MTV stood for MUSIC television, where's the music? Besides those shitty ballads playing while some girl is crying over a guy who was never interested in her.
- the media, they always focus on the bad things.
Celebrities
-Dude I seriously hate Paris Hilton, she's an ugly douche bag who thinks she owns the world. She so fucking ugly, I'm not the type to discriminate like that, but she thinks she's the hottest shit on the earth. It bothers me, she was born into a rich Family with tons of shit and if you see an interview with her she'll say "Life's so hard for me!!"
-I like how they act so great like they're emperors and we're ants under their foot, and then the tables turn and no one cares about them anymore.
Cultures/Races
-Blacks/Whites/Hispanics/Orientals/Brown people you name it, there's way too many stereotypes out there. I like people for who they are, but now everywhere there are people that call you racist for everything, or think they're really dangerous. Dude, stfu. A generation or two struggled to make Canada home and survive, and you treat this life like shit. You may have baggy pants, a bandana, a piece of your left eyebrow shaved, or a shirt that three people you're body type could fit into, but you're still an ignorant fuck. No one gives a shit if you're GANGSTAR.
General
-Shitty emo bands that sing about the same thing and have long names for songs.
-People that claim they're hardcore or think they're "the shit" but there's millions just like them across the world, and they're exactly the same. [You're not hardcore if you beg your parents for a cellphone]
-People that don't respect The Ramones, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, or Black Sabbath. (no not just ozzy, if you think black sabbath was just all about ozzy blow your brains out.)
-New Simpons episodes suck shit badly
-People that try to act like they're everyones hero and we all want them around. I'm not trying to alienate or ignore anyone but if you think you're better then me you can gtfo. hahaha.
-POSERS!!!! At the Rancid concert there were too many fucking 13 year old poser kids, I wanted to fucking stomp on their face with David's steel toe boots.
For now this is it. I'll be back.
Update jan.17th
-Fucking cheap people. "You gotta gimme something if I let you borrow my pen" shut the fuck up you stupid asswipe i should fucking punch you in the face you low life piece of shit.
-Fat people. It may sound harsh but they go onto television and say how painful life is because they're fat, well here's a hint tubby, LOOSE SOME FUCKING POUNDS. Unless they work out and still remain fat because their body is just like that, it's okay, but if you stuff your fucking face and say "why me? why am I so fat?" you should be fucking starved. (that wasn't really a creative torture method, but I figure it'll hurt fat people the most)
-That convience store across the street.
I'll be back.
Update Jan.26th
-I fucking hate people who think we care about their godamn opinion. I do this alot, just enforce my opinion and I'd rather I didn't but there are people that are alot more stubborn then me. (ie. the church, people that oppose the church, etc.)
-When someone commits suicide all these mothers with nothing better to do say "HOW SELFISH CAN THEY BE, THEY LEFT ME, THEY MADE ME SAD" suck my dick. The person that commited suicide could have been going through hell or worse and you want them to continue living? And you call them selfish.
-Emotionless people are fucking fags. I say this out of jealousy mostly because I find it hard not to have emotions, as you can see I hate many things.
-"Individuals"
I fear this world is doomed Until next time.
Update Feb.14th(valentines day)
-Worst fucking day of my life. I hate Valentines day, I fucking hate it. I hate R______. If you can't fill in the blanks you probably don't know me that well.
Update March.3rd
- I fucking hate when I waste days. I really wanted to go out and do something tonight but no one is home. Everyone always fucking goes somewhere without me. I fucking hate this shit. Another day wasted, another night with my head in the oven.
Update March.30th
Alright I only have a couple things for this update.
-I fucking hate like 27 year old girls who try to be models on myspace. I don't care if you have a nice chest, coloured hair, tight jeans, whatever, stop acting like your the shit and everyone wants you on their list. I'm 100% sure that like 95% of myspace models (whores is a better term) don't care about people, and just want to get to the top.
-I hate when I'm walking into school and I see a girl who tries to look really sophisticated just because she has a scarf, eye liner, a fancy fall jacket, and a tim hortons coffee. Like fuck! You're not working for some high and mighty magazine, you stand up for the national anthem in the morning like the rest of us, what makes you so fucking special? cuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnntttttttttttttttt
-people that use Josh's death as a mini-publicity stunt. Like *cough* told me, like 30 people raided Josh's room taking what they could, like fuck! Do you even care that he'sgone? It's not some sort of grab all you can game, respect him you fucking scum cunts. And this is one message to a girl who I saw at the funeral...You are a not a person, you are not valued, you are non-existent. You'd sell your friends away in a second for the right price. You leech what you can from others and when they're gone you show no respect and pretend you're above them all. You compare your clothes and try to look really cool at a funeral with your nice shades and your "oddly" coloured hair, well that is a terrible thing to do. You belive you are our godess, and that we need you, life wouldn't be life without you. You're wrong, you have never been a person and you change to "be cool" all the time. If I mentioned your name you'd use this to your advantage, you'd say "I never cared about anything, I was such a punk, this is what I did at a funeral (insert my note)" You've come here and you have ruined a part of my life. There's a part of me you have killed. I hope my words each weigh a thousand pounds so that you are completely crushed by them. You are souless.
Update Arpril.11th
-Roxanne
-Fucking nerds.....one girl in my math class is getting a 98%. It's a good thing for her but it pisses me off.
-(relevant to the previous hate point) when people say "You can't hate me for getting a 98%".... uh...yeah I can? Fuck off, I can hate you for whatever reason I want, not everyone has to like you, cunt.
Update May.7th
-Sometimes the fact that I am still alive.
-Wasting my life, it's happening and knowing I can’t stop it is annoying.
-People who can't take jokes but can dish it out all they want.
-People that are heartless. Nothing gets through to them no matter how hard you try, and give, it's worthless.
-People that are really smart and try to say they stupid like most kids say today "I'm slow!!" Then why the fuck are you getting accepted to every fucking university.
-People that try to give others this image of themselves. Like, they will call themselves crazy and make sure everyone calls them crazy.
-Nicknames, gayest shit ever. What the fuck? are we in GI Joe? For Fuck Sakes can't you see how gay you are. Bunny is the only person allowed to have one.
Update Aug.7th
-When i'm mad and I don't know why.
-FUCKING NERDS
-Horny kids. Yeah Masturbation is fine but don't come up to me and say "I want to fuck her sooooooooo bad, I would give anything to __________ her" etc. We've all met someone like that, I just want to kick the shit out of them. I couldn't care less about your sexual needs.
-People who have to know everyone. Like, everyone is not enough? Why do you need to know everyone? Are you planning some sort of high time orgy record? Can you talk to 289154 people at the same time? STOP FUCKING TRYING TO BE EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE YOU ATTENTION WHORE.
-There's something I hate but I can't describe it, so I hate that too.
-The fact that I take everything for granted, so I can never say "nothing good happends to me"
-I've wanted to put "I want to die" in my msn name or facebook thing for a while but everyone would say "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME" it's just a feeling dude don't break my balls...then again probably no one would comment.
- I got 100% in science, no university will accept me with a mark that low!!
I need to overdose on something or get hit by a car.
Update Sept.8th
-First off, Asians. it may sound mean, well fuck you I want it to be mean, it's my goddamn list. Have you seen graffiti on facebook? Holy fucking shit fucks, the asians dominate that shit, then they have all their anime shit, little asian cliques, fucking everything. Well almost everything, I'm goddamn happy I have a bigger dick then them. Which almost makes me wonder, is being asian a sacrifice? Think about it, you're good at everything, but you have a small penis. I'm looking at you luis.
- People that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES", dude, stfu. Most likely all you do is sit home and watch the oc and say "That is exactly how my life is!!!!" so you assume you can't trust anyone because someone, somewhere has been betrayed. I'm not saying EVERYONE is just wanting to sound important, just most people that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES" If you really need words to describe it then "we trusted you - transplants" there you go, perfect for describing hate to someone who betrayed you.
- lol !!!!1!11oneoneone <- was never funny, and never will be. It's not even funny when you make fun of people that do it. Just, don't touch it. - "You ask for the time they tell you how to build a clock", Dylan could not of said it better. I hate when people always have to be better then you, or need more sympathy. "ah, I threw my back out the other day" "MY BACK HURTS ALL THE TIME, MY LIFE IS WORST" "Oh sorry man, on another note I got a new guitar- - -" "I HAVE 174601 GUITARS, MY LIFE IS BETTER" It's very, very irritating. -People that only talk about themselves, I know i tend to but I usually end up trying to talk about the other person. But fuck people that ONLY tell you stories about them or their parents or their friends, or anything just annoys me. -Glasses, the ones that almost every girl I know has. Those big fucking round glasses that are shapped like sonic the hedgehog's eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about" Yes you do, woman! -Why are girls and boys becoming so trendy, so much younger now a'days. Grade 5's don't need cell phones. Hell I only got mine in grade 10. Although plenty of you are saying "cuz u hav no freinds" I'm sure almost every girl this age doesn't need to use their phones as much as they do. -omg, i'm wasted <-I hate you. -I can't stress how much I hate when fags say "I'm cheesed" you're all retarded. Cheese = food, not emotion. -Possibly the thing I hate most, socks with holes. We're only making plans for Nigel, yo. Update Nov.22nd -Rock and Roll, fucking hate it so goddamn much. I hate the whole 20 minute gay jazz solo, I hate the whole "Were a big gay giant rock family!!" -Lenny Kravitz -The blues, I'm more or less still on my first point, I hate the gay music when it's like 12 bar blues and you got some gay singer saying "Rock and Roll for life, Can't take anymore of the bitch" and everyone yells bitch at the same time, and parents say "Oh gosh darn, I guess sometimes kids just have to have fun but only this time" FUCK YOU ALL YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOOT! -People that need to know every Goddamn thing that happends, like fuck, why do you need to know what someone said to me, it's not like you tell me anything. I have to jump through rings of fire and eat glass to know one of your rumours because I'm not really with your group, go e-fuck yourself. -I like Mudvayne. I guess this is irrelevant. -People that pressure you into buying their old shit. I don't like used stuff, maybe i'm blind and I can't realize the truth of the evil corporate masterminds that are after me, well who the fuck cares? I don't so why should you? -People that make you feel awkward like everything you say is crossing a line. -People that tell me how I need to feel, fuck you I feel goddamn nothing. -Work. But I do get money so whatever, at least they could give me a raise, I work the most hours in the category of part timers, and others get paid more then me. -There's this one girl I fucking hate more then anything else, she goes to my school but I don't know her name. I'll try to get a picture. -Young stupid stuck up spoiled kids. I need new swear words, fuck is being used too much. Or at least today it was. MOAR LAYTA
The Hate list 1st edition (updated Sept.8th)
I'm always saying "I fucking hate this" well here's my list, maybe doesn't have everything and you'll probably find some hypocritism in it but this is it.
Teenagers
-Trends they so easily follow
-How predictable they are
-How badass they think they are
-How blind they are, they think that if they all dress the same, act the same, listen to the same music, complain about the same shit, and deny they're clones that they will be individuals.
-"No one knows the pain I go through, life is too hard, my parents shower me with gifts and anything i request I get but they still don't love me and they fight so much" Shut the hell up you spoiled brat, go live in a third world country to know pain, then again you stupid emo piece of shit, they probably don't have enough mascara. (I took the masacara thing from stfne)
-On myspace when their name is something that's supposed to be catchy. ie. mine would be something like Dynamite Derek
-When it's obvious that someone is a scene kid because of their iPod their myspace account, they take pictures of themselves 24/7 and post it on the internet, when they want someone to comment their space, when they wear Poka-dots & Stripes, think they're hardcore, list everyband they know on myspace under music, etc. and they deny it if you call them scene.
Media
Music
- Pop music. Fucking always comes no matter what and trend kids that think they're hardcore underground end up listening to this shit then denying it.
- commercial music, (not music in commercials) Commercial Rap fucking sucks, Commercial Rock fucking sucks, Country in general usual sucks.
Television
- MTV IS THE WORST FUCKING CHANNEL. All those reality shows about stupid young adults living in the same house with their gay fucking glasses, and gay music and gay lifestyles, or "Date my mom" who the fuck comes up with this shit? "Room Raiders" gayest shit ever. I'm not even going to talk about that Laguna Beach show or whatever it's called. I thought MTV stood for MUSIC television, where's the music? Besides those shitty ballads playing while some girl is crying over a guy who was never interested in her.
- the media, they always focus on the bad things.
Celebrities
-Dude I seriously hate Paris Hilton, she's an ugly douche bag who thinks she owns the world. She so fucking ugly, I'm not the type to discriminate like that, but she thinks she's the hottest shit on the earth. It bothers me, she was born into a rich Family with tons of shit and if you see an interview with her she'll say "Life's so hard for me!!"
-I like how they act so great like they're emperors and we're ants under their foot, and then the tables turn and no one cares about them anymore.
Cultures/Races
-Blacks/Whites/Hispanics/O
General
-Shitty emo bands that sing about the same thing and have long names for songs.
-People that claim they're hardcore or think they're "the shit" but there's millions just like them across the world, and they're exactly the same. [You're not hardcore if you beg your parents for a cellphone]
-People that don't respect The Ramones, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, or Black Sabbath. (no not just ozzy, if you think black sabbath was just all about ozzy blow your brains out.)
-New Simpons episodes suck shit badly
-People that try to act like they're everyones hero and we all want them around. I'm not trying to alienate or ignore anyone but if you think you're better then me you can gtfo. hahaha.
-POSERS!!!! At the Rancid concert there were too many fucking 13 year old poser kids, I wanted to fucking stomp on their face with David's steel toe boots.
For now this is it. I'll be back.
Update jan.17th
-Fucking cheap people. "You gotta gimme something if I let you borrow my pen" shut the fuck up you stupid asswipe i should fucking punch you in the face you low life piece of shit.
-Fat people. It may sound harsh but they go onto television and say how painful life is because they're fat, well here's a hint tubby, LOOSE SOME FUCKING POUNDS. Unless they work out and still remain fat because their body is just like that, it's okay, but if you stuff your fucking face and say "why me? why am I so fat?" you should be fucking starved. (that wasn't really a creative torture method, but I figure it'll hurt fat people the most)
-That convience store across the street.
I'll be back.
Update Jan.26th
-I fucking hate people who think we care about their godamn opinion. I do this alot, just enforce my opinion and I'd rather I didn't but there are people that are alot more stubborn then me. (ie. the church, people that oppose the church, etc.)
-When someone commits suicide all these mothers with nothing better to do say "HOW SELFISH CAN THEY BE, THEY LEFT ME, THEY MADE ME SAD" suck my dick. The person that commited suicide could have been going through hell or worse and you want them to continue living? And you call them selfish.
-Emotionless people are fucking fags. I say this out of jealousy mostly because I find it hard not to have emotions, as you can see I hate many things.
-"Individuals"
I fear this world is doomed Until next time.
Update Feb.14th(valentines day)
-Worst fucking day of my life. I hate Valentines day, I fucking hate it. I hate R______. If you can't fill in the blanks you probably don't know me that well.
Update March.3rd
- I fucking hate when I waste days. I really wanted to go out and do something tonight but no one is home. Everyone always fucking goes somewhere without me. I fucking hate this shit. Another day wasted, another night with my head in the oven.
Update March.30th
Alright I only have a couple things for this update.
-I fucking hate like 27 year old girls who try to be models on myspace. I don't care if you have a nice chest, coloured hair, tight jeans, whatever, stop acting like your the shit and everyone wants you on their list. I'm 100% sure that like 95% of myspace models (whores is a better term) don't care about people, and just want to get to the top.
-I hate when I'm walking into school and I see a girl who tries to look really sophisticated just because she has a scarf, eye liner, a fancy fall jacket, and a tim hortons coffee. Like fuck! You're not working for some high and mighty magazine, you stand up for the national anthem in the morning like the rest of us, what makes you so fucking special? cuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnntttttt
-people that use Josh's death as a mini-publicity stunt. Like *cough* told me, like 30 people raided Josh's room taking what they could, like fuck! Do you even care that he'sgone? It's not some sort of grab all you can game, respect him you fucking scum cunts. And this is one message to a girl who I saw at the funeral...You are a not a person, you are not valued, you are non-existent. You'd sell your friends away in a second for the right price. You leech what you can from others and when they're gone you show no respect and pretend you're above them all. You compare your clothes and try to look really cool at a funeral with your nice shades and your "oddly" coloured hair, well that is a terrible thing to do. You belive you are our godess, and that we need you, life wouldn't be life without you. You're wrong, you have never been a person and you change to "be cool" all the time. If I mentioned your name you'd use this to your advantage, you'd say "I never cared about anything, I was such a punk, this is what I did at a funeral (insert my note)" You've come here and you have ruined a part of my life. There's a part of me you have killed. I hope my words each weigh a thousand pounds so that you are completely crushed by them. You are souless.
Update Arpril.11th
-Roxanne
-Fucking nerds.....one girl in my math class is getting a 98%. It's a good thing for her but it pisses me off.
-(relevant to the previous hate point) when people say "You can't hate me for getting a 98%".... uh...yeah I can? Fuck off, I can hate you for whatever reason I want, not everyone has to like you, cunt.
Update May.7th
-Sometimes the fact that I am still alive.
-Wasting my life, it's happening and knowing I can’t stop it is annoying.
-People who can't take jokes but can dish it out all they want.
-People that are heartless. Nothing gets through to them no matter how hard you try, and give, it's worthless.
-People that are really smart and try to say they stupid like most kids say today "I'm slow!!" Then why the fuck are you getting accepted to every fucking university.
-People that try to give others this image of themselves. Like, they will call themselves crazy and make sure everyone calls them crazy.
-Nicknames, gayest shit ever. What the fuck? are we in GI Joe? For Fuck Sakes can't you see how gay you are. Bunny is the only person allowed to have one.
Update Aug.7th
-When i'm mad and I don't know why.
-FUCKING NERDS
-Horny kids. Yeah Masturbation is fine but don't come up to me and say "I want to fuck her sooooooooo bad, I would give anything to __________ her" etc. We've all met someone like that, I just want to kick the shit out of them. I couldn't care less about your sexual needs.
-People who have to know everyone. Like, everyone is not enough? Why do you need to know everyone? Are you planning some sort of high time orgy record? Can you talk to 289154 people at the same time? STOP FUCKING TRYING TO BE EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE YOU ATTENTION WHORE.
-There's something I hate but I can't describe it, so I hate that too.
-The fact that I take everything for granted, so I can never say "nothing good happends to me"
-I've wanted to put "I want to die" in my msn name or facebook thing for a while but everyone would say "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME" it's just a feeling dude don't break my balls...then again probably no one would comment.
- I got 100% in science, no university will accept me with a mark that low!!
I need to overdose on something or get hit by a car.
Update Sept.8th
-First off, Asians. it may sound mean, well fuck you I want it to be mean, it's my goddamn list. Have you seen graffiti on facebook? Holy fucking shit fucks, the asians dominate that shit, then they have all their anime shit, little asian cliques, fucking everything. Well almost everything, I'm goddamn happy I have a bigger dick then them. Which almost makes me wonder, is being asian a sacrifice? Think about it, you're good at everything, but you have a small penis. I'm looking at you luis.
- People that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES", dude, stfu. Most likely all you do is sit home and watch the oc and say "That is exactly how my life is!!!!" so you assume you can't trust anyone because someone, somewhere has been betrayed. I'm not saying EVERYONE is just wanting to sound important, just most people that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES" If you really need words to describe it then "we trusted you - transplants" there you go, perfect for describing hate to someone who betrayed you.
- lol !!!!1!11oneoneone <- was never funny, and never will be. It's not even funny when you make fun of people that do it. Just, don't touch it. - "You ask for the time they tell you how to build a clock", Dylan could not of said it better. I hate when people always have to be better then you, or need more sympathy. "ah, I threw my back out the other day" "MY BACK HURTS ALL THE TIME, MY LIFE IS WORST" "Oh sorry man, on another note I got a new guitar- - -" "I HAVE 174601 GUITARS, MY LIFE IS BETTER" It's very, very irritating. -People that only talk about themselves, I know i tend to but I usually end up trying to talk about the other person. But fuck people that ONLY tell you stories about them or their parents or their friends, or anything just annoys me. -Glasses, the ones that almost every girl I know has. Those big fucking round glasses that are shapped like sonic the hedgehog's eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about" Yes you do, woman! -Why are girls and boys becoming so trendy, so much younger now a'days. Grade 5's don't need cell phones. Hell I only got mine in grade 10. Although plenty of you are saying "cuz u hav no freinds" I'm sure almost every girl this age doesn't need to use their phones as much as they do. -omg, i'm wasted <-I hate you. -I can't stress how much I hate when fags say "I'm cheesed" you're all retarded. Cheese = food, not emotion. -Possibly the thing I hate most, socks with holes. We're only making plans for Nigel, yo. Update Nov.22nd -Rock and Roll, fucking hate it so goddamn much. I hate the whole 20 minute gay jazz solo, I hate the whole "Were a big gay giant rock family!!" -Lenny Kravitz -The blues, I'm more or less still on my first point, I hate the gay music when it's like 12 bar blues and you got some gay singer saying "Rock and Roll for life, Can't take anymore of the bitch" and everyone yells bitch at the same time, and parents say "Oh gosh darn, I guess sometimes kids just have to have fun but only this time" FUCK YOU ALL YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOOT! -People that need to know every Goddamn thing that happends, like fuck, why do you need to know what someone said to me, it's not like you tell me anything. I have to jump through rings of fire and eat glass to know one of your rumours because I'm not really with your group, go e-fuck yourself. -I like Mudvayne. I guess this is irrelevant. -People that pressure you into buying their old shit. I don't like used stuff, maybe i'm blind and I can't realize the truth of the evil corporate masterminds that are after me, well who the fuck cares? I don't so why should you? -People that make you feel awkward like everything you say is crossing a line. -People that tell me how I need to feel, fuck you I feel goddamn nothing. -Work. But I do get money so whatever, at least they could give me a raise, I work the most hours in the category of part timers, and others get paid more then me. -There's this one girl I fucking hate more then anything else, she goes to my school but I don't know her name. I'll try to get a picture. -Young stupid stuck up spoiled kids. I need new swear words, fuck is being used too much. Or at least today it was. MOAR LAYTA
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