Merry Nothing

It is christmas

The trees are dead

and the snow is melting

Family's are together

Probably fighting

Attempts at bridging relationships are posed

While their neat sweaters make fools of those wearing it

And all the fireplaces in the world are being used just for cheer

But there is no cheer for me

or you for that matter

This is no place for happiness

There is no place for good

Burning cigarettes behind the trees

Kids just want what's in the box

But they never get what they want

Most of the time they don't get what they need either

Others are offended by this attempt to make the world better

It's safe to assume they are disgusted in a family coming together

I however am on the fence

with my spine straight aligned

arms folded over, broken on both sides

While my neck is pinched and poked at by the picket

Oh how horrible it is to be on the fence

To want the both of both worlds

But to end up alone on your own

As long as you're on the fence with me

We can start our own world

And have our on attempts at happiness

Those whom are disgusted have the privilege to leave

And burn in whatever they celebrate

Not to come off stingy, I hope they have the best time a soulless corpse can.

This won't end soon but it will end,

And when it does i'll be at the side of your house with two du-mauriers lit in my mouth.

Time is empty and they're hunting me down..

Suicide Smile

So I cut myself into a thousand little squares

And just as I expected, I won't go back together

My expiration date was up anyways

No exchanges on the body when the body is rotting

Inside this prisoner of dismay

Is a rusted heart, broken and sharp

On call for words and remedies

Never to sleep again

I hope you get everything you want

And it all turns out great

Use the same shovel to find a way out

Misplacing your words

I think you meant me

I was cursed

I'll go drown in the sea

It's intentionally obvious

Stuck between the warm and cold

The only thing I'm having fun with

Is growing old

Cut my skin

And nothing comes out

Look within

You'll see a drought

The weather of my body is a storm

And everything is being destroyed

So don't expect to come back to home

This time, it won't be alright

Not all the painted pictures in the world could show you how I feel

Or how I lack to feel

Take every colour you know

And dilute it

Round it out

Smooth over it

So it's dull

And boring

Lifeless

And then live with it

And I dare you

I fucking dare you

To remember how it was

Remember how the colour was

The colour you loved

That made you happy

Well that colour is dead

That colour is never coming back

That colour should have never existed

That colour is responsible for all of this

That colour was a mistake

That colour was never a cure

That colour should make you cry

That colour is stupid

That colour stabs you in the back

That colour is stale

That colour is old

That colour has no flame

That colour makes you hate yourself

That colour restricts you

That colour will use you

That colour is just a colour

And it breaks my heart so

But I don't want my heart

I never did

I hate it

I hate my heart

I hate myself

Here's your crime scene

Conclusions can be drawn

They usually make a horrible picture though

If you don't hate yourself

Then you will.

Bleeding friends that have nothing to say

nothing

nothing in this world is pure

the air, the water

constantly being poisoned

Children become corrupt

Everything is essential

Excluding your soul

These worries

These hands

We run wild with our temptations

For the worst

And yet they still get the better of us

And we give in against the grain of our being

We make rain on a sunny day

None the less the dark warm guilt is still an important variable to our blood

It's natural for us to feel this way

I mean, how many people actually agree with their decisions?

"Yes, that cigarette does make a difference."

Is the sound of their own salvation drowning in what it's become

But what a fine detective temptation is

It finds what you need to stay away in a second

And it knows that this is what you want

Red transparency

-

In a sweeping moment

When the light lowers it's defense

Maybe another day

Or sunless morning

Whichever is your favour

What's this one called?

Still fond

Aswell Alive

Breathing again

Empty soul smiles

Painting your face inside out

Search the shadows

To take your tongue and tie it around your wrist

And take all you can from what's left

The unwanted

Cold nights in colder sand

Where the day ends softly

The night will destroy

Anything that calls me

Anything that haunts me

Where is this answer

Im reaching out with my hands

As the rain falls from the auburn leaves soon to follow

It is fall and I have lost myself

The sun tries it's hardest to get through the clouds

But sometimes it isn't enough

And the sun is left outside

It could destroy us, had it a conscience

which is a con of science

She wears a necklace of words she can't keep

It's an echoing heartbeat

Scattered down the hall in a pulsating manner

Stitches over your eye

Late fights, bloody fists

Liars and thieves

Limits on pulps to be beaten to

It's dark where I come from

Built on empty thoughts

That may or may not have ever happened

Violet leaves on neon trees

with air so dark, the angels fear

Depth that invites you

Sunset when she rises.

Her hands are shaking

She's never done this before

As her face is painted with the blood inside her

The ravage crimson beneath her milk white skin

Connecting her cheeks to her eyes as if they were stars in the sky

Her tongue, dancing behind her teeth

I'm hoping she needs someone to dance with

If not today, tomorrow

While the time and life are being cut

I only have time to observe other than her

I don't want to give myself away

Tracing her thoughts back to her

While her breath of comfort stabs my heart

I'd like to dissect myself at this moment

So she can see my heart beating

And know that it is there, waiting for her

Plans are made and nights are spent (though they are free as long as no one is watching)

At the top of the stairs

Or the seats of the 'Santa Fe'

In my hands

Or in my head

We already know that coal just burns out

Like the cigarettes falling from the roof

Of all the nights

An evolution proceeds

From my lips to hers

And back to mine

The white walls with the harsh brown overlay

We've exchanged secrets here before

But none told me we'd be here together

Our eyes close

And we dream

And our bodies touch

My hands over hers

My neck, magnetic to hers

Follow the stairs

We end up in the room as crimson as I remember her face during the dissection

Our hearts beat as one

We wake to leave each other

After a mutual car trip of course

She is not seen for hours

minutes

seconds

days

The aching begins

I lose my mind

But at the last minute

Realize she took it by accident

She gives me it back

We go out for a night and a morning

And embrace the rain

A week of preserved emotions is ahead

We live off them like life support

Though we are the O type

So only our emotions can support us

Stone is written in

And names are given

A walk turns into a night so fast

The question comes up

In the cold warmth

Where we've been chasing each other

Though positioned

I am not dreaming

Dreams are a way of escaping reality, I've no need to escape

Another micro evolution occurs

Was it forced

Or was it raw?

Shadows are projected from the eyes at this point

Though the room is dark

Does not mean we have to be

However I choose this

The play is acted out

But before the last scene

I save it from an abrupt ending

Which was of my cause regardless

The thought of her tongue once more being locked behind her teeth hits me

It kills me

I love her so.

What's wrong with me )( Working on a cure

These hours don't belong

So it doesn't matter

when I go or come

It's my decision to live until I die

Nothing pleases

My thought seizes

You're the cause

and the result

I am carved

and mutilated

But you trip on your words

The ones that come from the spot you stand on

Without intention of truth

Have my pores embrace every word you say

Soaking into my soul

Making the most of this eternal chase

I hate everything that was ever something

Anything with meaning means nothing to me

I don't want any of this

And though it was not my decision

I am held responsible

What do you do when the one who holds you drops you

My time in this small room is close to an end

Maybe a year or so

And then my parents, the earth and the sun, will take care of me

Or take care from me

Flesh hitting wood that divides us

The door is the messenger

Now I know of the presence on the other side

I'd like to think I could enjoy the next moment

People from places you haven't heard of.

And it just never stops

Buried and bleeding

And they're still smiling

I'd like to take their faces

Jobs, Hobbies, Ideals

And cram it into one small box

That no one is able to open

The only options available

Are still standing strong

Though the consequence to the action

Is by some called wrong

But I don't care anymore

They've stole my prejudice

My ignorance is painful, not bliss

I don't want to trade my words in

A new deal is not in my contract

I want to keep the ones I know

Why put your words in my head

Just because they're coming out of your mouth

Between your teeth, from your throat

I'd like to grind my teeth on concrete

I'd love to dream but never sleep

Waiting consistently for a change of direction

Instead I just get a rough reflection

When I can't even tell if it's me

But I can't see anything worth to see

So I know the only person it can be

Which leads us to our conclusive ideal that it was me.

The art of regurgitation [Part Deuce]

This feeling

Yes I know

I really want to go

My hands are old and worn

Red, exhausted and torn. AND WITH THIS NIGHT I AM PAIN

From endless promises sworn TO START WITH NO INTENTION OF

The life matches the death's mourn. FINISHING

Long live nothing

and all that is to come from nothing

which is the absence of nothing

(..something)

All of which goes unseen

Copy one thing

Paste another

More or less

She said "I should confess"

But I said "Give it a rest"

And with that final test

Took my spine from between her lips to eyes

I've tasted every reality

Exchanged nothing for something lacking quality

words that only hurt myself.

Whatever is takes

I want it badly

Normal face and body

I'll accept it sadly

But nothing gives in

Nothing works

Until I fall asleep

But changes always happen

Yeah I guess there's hope

That this decreasing graph

We become a positive slope

and everything will be okay

and we'll get to smile

even if it's for a second

But hours and minutes

get along so well

I lost my key into heaven

so i'll wait in hell

until I find it again

under all this dirt

which i guess it's in

Waiting and im waiting

for a beam from the sun

someone made a promise

but directed it to no one

so it's in the air

and i breathe it in

but it's not for me

So I breathe it out tainted

it's carbon dioxide

what have i done

this promise is cyanide

and it's for no one

to keep or sell

i've ruined it all

And angels wings are white

and made of feathers

tied up so tight

each feather is together

but when one comes loose

they all fall away

and you cannot fly

I guess i've learned nothing

from my stupid concepts

i've thought through everything

everything i know except

where we fall asleep

and where we'll wake up

this rush we're in

Walk into your life

on knees that just don't work

I got the wrong ones

So I'll blame the clerk

who sold me them

they're not my friend

but they smiled at the time

Disposable People (When we have time)

Everything you stand for

to me it means nothing

No

You can't have everything

Especially when you want more

Your "deep"

is my shallow

You don't have feelings

So I know im not hurting anything

The world isn't against you

You're making up your own problems

All the words that fly from your mouth

get caught in my ears

and they're filling my head

as to lead it to an explosion

which arguably is this

arguable because i have combusted

but unlike an explosion I have made the slightest indent