oats :)

It's not easy having a mind full of red
I'm never going home

I'll hurt everyone around me
I will ruin everything

My mind is a dark forest you'll get lost in
It's cold, and infectious
Don't let me near you
I can already taste you screaming

Echo of strange sounds
All the time
A cold cave full of pain
You should leave

Its nothing just a distraction

I don't feel alive enough to sacrifice my mind for you
As i let my vision burn
allowing my senses to dull
i've become nothing

Resisting you is too much for me
your taste, which i'll never have
i am tempted by what you don't offer
you are the soul in my body

As time fades away and i lose myself
my mind
oh
I'll lose everything but my memories of you

I'll burn my smile
let my skin decay
for some time
just for one day

And is it the way i'm nothing to you
do i extract joy from the freight i provide
you're the best drug on the market

it hurts knowing i could instead be ruining my chances with you
but i'd rather keep it confidential
so only i know
please don't go

Planet Caravan

I'm tired and I want to go to bed

oh there's a life ahead of me, so much I can do. The things I want are the things I can't have, this is found in almost all of our lives. Why do we want what we don't need? Why do we have to feel superior to others? What's the point of it, is it for yourself, or is it really to make others feel worse? Does it matter what shirt you wear? Who's words come out of your mouth? Are they yours, or someone elses?

Why is it once I die, I am still living in one way or another, can't I just quit this? I never said I wanted to play but here I am, and there's no way out. Apparently if I die i'm still living somewhere else or as something else so what good is dying if i'm not dead?

I hope my kids aren't like this, I hope I'm as good as a father as my dad is. Sure i'm the way I am, but my dad would hold the world at gunpoint for me. My mom is the same, she loves me with her heart full. I thank god, or whatever created me, that it gave me these two individuals to raise me.

This is it, this is all i'm good at. Making it seem like every minute of my life is underwater, what talent is that? This doesn't work! This doesn't seem right, there has to be more then

birth -> school -> work -> die

It's not clicking, does this make sense to you? (whoever may be reading this) Should you live to die like so many do? The answer is quite obvious that you must find good moments and live them out to the fullest that you can. But I don't get that many good moments. Or do I, am I just a negative creep who makes nirvana references in an ironic fashion while in reality I just made the word ironic mean something less of what it should? If you're confused then don't bother, most shouldn't be confused.

I can't do it. my mind is never where it should be. My dreams are becoming my reality and my reality is becoming my dreams. Maybe I should just sleep for now on, i've almost physically accepted an answer to this question.

I found you there wearing my jacket, under the street light with the wind blowing in your face and mine. I could barely feel my soul that night, I could feel my tears freezing, as I approached you. It was early after night, no one knew we were there. Although the snow almost killed me I still brought you tulips. Your favourite right? It could've been an opportunity but by the time I arrived you were both gone and still there. I layed beside your body, and let the white sand cover both you and me. This midnights tale is the closest thing to a story of romance and happy ending.

That wasn't depressing, and I don't mean to sound lamely sarcastic like the viewers of gilmore girls. I should be preparing for my big future (which I of course won't be apart of) right now.

So until I hate my beautiful life again, I love you.

Sincerest regards,

Some suicidal fag

Step 1: Try // Step 2: Fail

Why is it that I put myself in this position every single time I have the chance? Are any of you really out there or is this just fantasy? I take a day to dissect my heart just so you can tell me you're there and i'm just blind although I can see perfectly? To some of you, I am wronging and rejecting what you are giving and I apologize, these words are not for your ears, these are for those whom tell me that I did a good thing and walk away wiping the relationship status off with a sigh of relief knowing they'll never speak to me again. That is, if they even initially cared about me, and knew I existed, and had any doubts about my decision to live.

I build you a house without you asking, you live in it for a day and then burn it down.

But it's not fair! It's just not fair! I'm not allowed to rip my mind out of my body and show you it or else I become something you avoid. No matter how hard I try, I'm not trying, no matter what I write it's not written. Why does everything I do ultimately end in a fail? A year can be shown in a minute and what is felt? You think the world revolves around you your entire life, everything is based on you, you never stop to think "hey maybe everyone else feels like this? Maybe there is something I can do to make them feel good?" No, you don't, you never care, you always think about you and only you.

Thus, I am not apart of your life. I'm fucking dead inside, when I have headphones on, the sound waves just bounce off my hollow interior. You've hurt me.

I did not wite this

Listen...

There is a knocking in the skull,
An endless silent shout
Of something beating on a wall,
And crying, “Let me out!”

That solitary prisoner
Will never hear reply.
No comrade in eternity
Can hear the frantic cry.

No heart can share the terror
That haunts his monstrous dark.
The light that filters through the chinks
No other eye can mark.

When flesh is linked with eager flesh,
And words run warm and full,
I think that he is loneliest then,
The captive in the skull.

Caught in a mesh of living veins,
In cell of padded bone,
He loneliest is when he pretends
That he is not alone.

We’d free the incarcerate race of man
That such a doom endures
Could only you unlock my skull,
Or I creep into yours.

The Angry Angel

First off I just want you guys to know I wrote a really positive note last night but facebook fucked up and lost it. Sorry, I can't imitate the feeling of joy I had inside of myself because again I've been hit.

Now for the note I want to post, here it is.



No, it's not a competition anymore cause I already lost
Everything happends so fast before you know it you're done
I'm an angel is disguise, even in disguise from myself
Everything happends for a reason, but how does that help you define the future?

If you want to do something, how do you do it?
Will it just happen if it is supposed to happen for a reason?
Was I supposed to say this, will this effect you enough to change your life?
So many depressed teenagers, is everyone supposed to feel this way?

Why is whatever I do wrong? I don't mean this as a stupid kid who's mom got mad at him
I mean all my choices, they almost always make me end up worse than I started
And I don't learn my lesson, i'm still risking it all constantly because i'm so desperate to be happy
but what is happiness to me? I think it is a girlfriend. Sadly that is my definition of happiness.

I just need someone I guess, it's kinda sad but whoever I want I can't have.
And it's not like I'm talking about a movie star, these are real people i'm thinking of.
And they're all just...wow...it just realized...they're all better than me.
Shouldn't I get someone better than me? Wouldn't that mean they'd be saving me?

No, it doesn't work that way.
You can tell I am really depressed as of now because i usually only write notes after the day is over
but for me I just woke up, the day has just begun.
So then how will I feel by night time?
I'm sorry but I don't mean to make you guys hurt, but i guess it's contagious.

I believe that I am an Angel.
Angels are beautiful right?
But they're all cursed.
So as well as I look, I'm not.

Angels don't have freedom.
They only have one purpose.
And that is to help others
With disregard to their own problems.

I guess I just need my own Angel
If I'm going to suffer at least give me wings.
This reminds me of a line from an alkaline trio song
"Take your wings outside, you can't fly in here"

Maybe that line is for me
maybe "in here" is this world
So i just need to die
then I can fly and be an angel

And then everything will be ok
because I won't have anymore problems
and I can still come help you guys
so everyone will win

Last night i laid in my bed
in the darkness of life and my fear
I put my hands together under my chin
and asked god to kill me before i woke up

I hurt so much, inside and out, if it weren't for my friends I would be dead.
I am here only for you guys
I wouldn't want you guys to feel pain ever
And since I'm an Angel I guess I found my purpose.

Fucking ace

Whoa, mood change

I suddenly feel really really happy
like, I've forgotten every bad thing
and now everything seems so small
the bright important things are right there

I'm laughing as i'm writing this
It feels like...well I don't know
I haven't felt this way in so long
It just feels great! Beautiful!

I'm listening to old music I used to listen to
and playing guitar, singing a bit
Remembering all the good times
and I just feel so awesome

I'm almost waiting for tears to come out of my eyes
It's such a weird feeling, I like revisted my old self
Things come and go right? Because they temporary right?
Well, I think it's temporary that they're gone

That's what it means, THINGS come and go
no different things, the same things
The same friend will go and then come back
if they were an important fried the coming back will be incredible!

I am usually sad and depressed cause I can't get happiness
but now hapiness came to me, I didn't find it
Maybe life is just about hanging in there
I hung in there and now I have happiness

This reminds me of the lyrics to an ex-favourite song

punk as fuck - down by law

"lookout for your chances to try to get away
when voices scream inside your head
just turn your amp up all the way
all the lights are black lights except when they turn gray
I flicked the switch, I made my choice
i'm gonna change it all today
cause I know that I can take them on
want to find a way out, just get me out of here
climbing to the next rung, well this is my wonder year
burning up inside in my body & my mind
after all this work i've decided this is my time
cause I know that I can take them on
and i'm not sorry that its done
and i'm not sorry that I won
now i've cried my last tear
cause this is my freaking year"

And now I'm sitting here writing and listening to transplants
and everything seems to be okay
the only thing wrong is I work so I can't go out with friends
but fuck it man! I have friends at work so what am I losing!?

Right now, and you might wanna take a screenshot or quote this or something because it's rare

I love my life, and I truly love you all

Your angry angel, DerekDAVID

Bleeding thoughts

I believe there is no heaven or hell because neither can be defined without the opposite.

You can't have a shadow without light, and you can't have light without a shadow.

You have to free your mind to accept and understand these things, it makes you feel better.

Some might feel stress while reading my second sentence, they may think "Well I can prove him wrong" and thus they start to think and prove me wrong. While it is very possible to prove me wrong, you'll be making yourself think, and therefore creating needless stress.

Just accept it, let it be like a breeze of wind pushing your hair back on a warm summer night.

When you can accept things, you will feel a spiritual equivalent to taking a deep breath and slowly breathing out in a relaxed tone.

There is no need to be thinking uselessly, you should only construct. Only think about how to achieve what you need, don't go out of your way to get it.

Everyone is the center of the universe, because to everyone, everything that happens effects them. Thus there are multiple centers f the universe, and through this we learn that everyone is together spiritually, all riding the same wave. And at the same time, we are at different points of the universe, so we can understand we are apart of the same reality, but we are separate through perspectives and feelings.

10 people in a room each see 9 people, however not one person sees the exact same thing as another. Now do you understand how you can be in the same position as another but you can feel different?

A mirror will reflect an image but take no part in what is reflected. If I hit someone out of anger, they will feel anger but they will not have to move on and do as I did, this is where you need to change and evolve.

At one part in your life you realize you need this change and to evolve.

If you end up in the same bed, at the same time, with the same thoughts, and same dreams, every night, it is sad. But if you realize this, you can be happy.

Small steps though, move within your space then once you're comfortable, expand your space. This is the basis of life. I realized no matter what happened to me, no matter how temporarily uncomfortable I am, i'll end up the same by 11:00pm. So I laid in snow face first and started playing in it, regardless of feeling embarrassed, because no matter what I was the same at the end of the night. This is moving within my space, I know where I can move (basically I know what won't effect my life) and then I get comfortable doing things like this. Once this phase is over you expand, you do things that change your night, your pattern, your life.

Sounds impossible, but that's because you're putting useless stress on your head. Why only be happy and relaxed when you're dreaming under the weight of your own sleep? Fucking live.

-

Another thought, people spend the first 20-30 years of life preparing for the future, but why? It always seems that people just want to get away from the house they're paying for. They get sick of what they earned. I don't understand, why would you spend half a lifetime building something you're going to abandon. I realize nothing will last forever, but this isn't exactly parallel to that concept.

In Death of a salesman Willy Loman say something that I find incredibly interesting and true, it's something like "You spend a whole life paying off a house, and when it's finally paid off you have no one to live in it."

It seems to be a common goal to waste a life. Almost everyone does it. So how do you avoid wasting a life? There's probably no straight answer, so maybe I should investigate the question whether than WASTING MY LIFE looking for the answer. See what I did there? haha

The simplest things make the most sense

I need you to take me somewhere in your car
I'll sleep to the dead radio and the sounds of the vehicle
my face presses against the window, you are alone with company
I can see through my closed eyes the lights from outside

It'll be beautiful, our destination will be home
we spent all night at a place where the music never stops
and the people are always dancing, just forever
It can last for as long as we want it to

Red light and we've stopped,you wouldn't of had the night end any other way
I wake for a split second and see we're relatively close to home, why will this ride end?
I like this feeling, relaxed and with the only person that can feel what i feel
Some body parts slowly going numb, but my hands are warm from the heater

We're almost there but I can't accept it, I just want to stay beside you
Our left approaches I feel my body being pushed against the door at this turn
Though neither were in the same mental position we enjoyed every second of this trip
I awake the moment the car touches our driveway, let's do it again tomorrow, i'll drive

Oceans are only good for a)drowning yourself + b)drowning others

It has occurred to me that you can never be completely happy
It seems when I'm happy others or worse
But it's not an imbalance, it's that the comparison has changed
I'm not comparing 0 to 5 anymore, i'm comparing 7 to 5
I can't believe how much of a dick I was
So many miserable people and I'm usually one of them
There's always something that makes you turn
So many negative perspectives
You want something no one knows about, so you can show others but when someone else knows about them, you're mad...why?
I don't know why though
but the answer is obvious, you're selfish and you need attention
btw I made cky
hot air rises so be angry in the sky?
Weed is gay, but i'm a fag so that's okay if that's my opinion
People smoke to be cool, not because it gets the stress off
Drinking is lame too, I know I say i do it occasionally, but I seriously think it's lame. I'm the same age as you, I know what's going on, if I choose not to drink a fucking beer fuck off.
Kids don't want to be kids but they'll act like kids in the process of not being kids
I like being at starbucks with all the intellectuals, brb need to call my mom to pick me up
I have colours of the rainbow in my hair, that means my take on life is superior to yours
I drink coffee in the morning because i need the energy to get through a class I tell others I sleep through
Sometimes you don't know what to feel
So you're angry
Sometimes you agree with what I say because you need something to connect to
I can say something alot of others will say but I'll earn the medal cause you like me more
It's hard not knowing your future with all this pressure and everyone needs you so you can't let it get to you or else if you fall, everything else falls.
I'm fucked and I don't care.
I don't have a heart and anyone that says I do is a cunt.
Why am I like this?
It's because you can never completely be happy
So make two lives, one will hold your work, school, etc. And the other will hold you.

You don't have to stay this way, you don't have to believe what I say either. I phrased that so the last word wouldn't rhyme.

I am a passenger, you're the driver.

○

listening to the sound of my fingers hitting the keys
It's good I won't feel this way anymore but i liked it
in retrospect I loved having all these emotions in me
but now that everything makes sense it makes me sad
but in a positive way

Teens watch movies like superbad and think
"that's it, that's the life"
but it's not, that's just a random persons life
it's entertaining but it happends in real life all the time
just they cut out the boring parts

they didn't show you everything
what about after when seth is with jules at the mall?
They don't show that awkward moment when they decide to leave
And seth hugs her and just walks away, maybe calls his mom to pick him up

No one thinks about this, they see it and figure "it's perfect"
but it's not, and you wish you were in the movie, wish you were apart of this big thing
wish you were known and people would quote you constantly
so much that you couldn't even make your own sentences

But don't make the mistake of believing everything I say
because right now you're considering it, and we all know that if these lines rhymed you'd buy it

I've had too many of those awful days where everything is wrong
and you turn everyword from another, into a knife in your back
and no matter what everything sucks, then you realize when you name everything it seems like nothing
and then that turns into something else that makes you pissed off

We're all the same in the end
We're all born, have problems, take joy in something, die
it can probably be written in some math equation, i know they'd like to have an equation for everything
I hate how every here and there my sentences get too long for my four line format and they just get bigger and bigger

is it okay to be afraid?

I just like writing notes, I wish I could just preach about life all day
Sit back and help people understand themselves, give them something to relate to so they know it's all okay
And life is not as bad as they think, but I need to do good in math to help save a life

funny, the life i'd save would probably be that of a teenager
who has too much stress from math
I have a headache and no patience to listen to 12 minute songs
but why do my favourite songs always end early?

when they start I can't wait until the awesome chorus, but then
it's almost over and there's nothing I can do, but just replay it
until I get tired of it, and then i'm a murderer of my own joy
but if I don't i'm screwed

I'm not going to dwell on those moments I wasted, because i'll waste another in the process
my life will be like a movie, it'll only show the good parts, not the awkward farewells.

Safe

To keep them in your arms
is to stop them from leaving
To stop them from leaving
is to destroy both of you

All these things that are in your mind
that are everywhere
all this stress balancing on a thread
Involuntary devices calm you down

Shot by an unarmed man
Hurt by someone who's loved
Remembering something you want to forget
Painting a white room black and cutting out light

There is no motivation for this
which ruins it
spoils it
makes it sour

Getting ahead of yourself puts you behind
Claiming yourself as something, puts you as something else
You can't always get your way, but what's wrong with getting what you want?
It's a life goal, even if it's at others expenses.

I'm young, healthy, and sensitive.
All sound good together.
But to the successful business man, donald trump, he says
"how do I make money off this?"

The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money

Your life isn't measured in how much money you have
And just because I can't understand the words in your music, doesn't mean you're cool.
Just because you get high, doesn't mean you're better or worse than me.

Stop twisting my arm because I let you.
You don't own these seconds of my life.
You can't leave me here
And then come whenever it's good for you.

And you know that's what is happening,
I'm nice, I let it happen, it's my fault too.
Just because you have more money,
doesn't mean you have less problems.

You're holding us back
and making us feel bad for it
You'll change my words
so you can have the world on your side

I was going to write
"I hate the ones who only seek money with disregard to others"
such as those on cbc's 'dragon's den'
But I feel bad, the asshole is a hot smelly place, I wouldn't want my head in mine 24/7.

I'm a jerk. Sorry.

Digital Air

I was talking to Rahul today about why my phone takes a while to receive text messages, and i was thinking maybe they're just floating around us. Think about it, where do the text messages go? Or any other wireless spawns.

There's probably a logical and satisfying answer for this but i don't want to know it. I'm having fun thinking about it the way I am.

Honestly, they have to be somewhere right? So shouldn't they be floating around us? Are we breathing in these wireless signals? Do they seep through our pours? Do they make the air thicker or harder to breathe?

We're constantly bathing in technology, how amazing is that?

Rahul says you can't breathe in the wireless signals and shit, and it's probably true but I still don't care. Why spoil my fun with fact?

Lame lines

Some of these are gay, so look for the meaning.



You are what you think you are so think you're something useful.

People only know what you tell them.

No matter how good of friends you are, there's competition.

Everyone conforms.

You will die and so will your friends and family.

The rich can be poor.

One death is too many.

Ignorance is the bully who gets beat by his parents, sounds fair? It isn't, help the bully out.

Love is hard to find, hard is a level of difficulty, impossible is not a difficulty.

We were all in a womb at once, we will all be dead at a time, so when you're headed in the same direction as a neighbour don't hesitate to give directions.

Learn how to make U turns, respect is a two way street.

It's a sick world we live in, so find a fucking cure

123456789

Welcome to my note, I feel I've been impolite as to not recognize you yet in any of my notes, with the possible exception of lovelist.

I'm writing this note as a time waster, it is a variable that helps ruin my life but keep me alive and sane, which I usually seem to be neither of. It's funny, i'm peer pressured into feeling alive by everyone.

I need to do math now, and regardless of the topic of this note, or the impact it has on you or the world, I will remain absent of math completion and understanding.

I know you all feel this way, why can't we just not work and have fun? It's because bad people, you can't have equality when someone wears a name brand shirt to put themselves above another, thus you can't all work together, because someone will always have to remain on a greater level. People are tools, yet I suppose i'm just as bad because I want an easy way out as well.

It's so hard to get an easy life

Should I make a personal attack at Mr.Sosa's the good life shirt? I probably should but I won't. I'm a dick sometimes.

Ah, common sense in society, where are you? If you were here, i'd have a good night sleep. And now you're gone I've lost you. Thanks again.




People, question the fucking answer don't categorize yourselves.

This ones off

Another repeating sound in my ear
Something I made to destroy me
fucking alarm clocks
I'd much rather lay half dead
And have the time of my life inside my head
Even if it's not real
I'd die for that fake feel
The one where I have no stress
And my entire life is not a test
We would all live on and on
Until dawn
when I have to wake up for gay ass canadian tire faggotry

yeah fuck this shit

Coyote

I may have just wrote the best thing i've ever written
but i messed up
and now it's gone
and it will always be gone
i cannot recreate it for you
i wish i could show you what it was
it made me feel good
but it's gone now
as everything will be one day
me you the sun the sky the ground
but all those things are already gone to me already
sometimes at least

•

I have scars
they remind me of things that hurt me
the scars then hurt me
i've learned
but i'm still tempted to pick the scars
it is then i'm free
I have a favourite scar
this particular scar is very special to me
I would not be myself without this scar
I always pick this scar
it will always be with me now
I will never forget with this scar
this scar drives me crazy
it's forces me to do things i hate
I will never truly understand this scar
why it is where it is and what it's doing there
how it could of been prevented, or why did i have to pick it
I'll never know the answers
or maybe I will
none the less, this scar will always be my favourite
because this scar has the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen

•

A wild coyote is my friend
a wild coyote will turn against me
a wild coyote swears to protect
a wild coyote breathes death

I am trapped under the ocean
You are locked above the sky

•

My chest is tight
you're hurting me
everything we are
everything we were
everything we could have been
has left us

as time ages
we fade
can you hear the echos?
we used to make them

Your palm sweating in mine
this is uncomfortable
but a memory
something to keep
That was pretty gay

•

How long until you all tell me what i'm doing wrong
I see it in your eyes
but it's not good enough to tell me
you have to torture me

break my fall
waste it all
my mistake

these will keep me alive
feeding me something already chewed
this is all shit
nothing matters
I can write for years and years
using new words
saying clever things
it's all the same
you can only live to evolve
me telling you this means nothing
then again you know more than me
but you still won't tell me your secrets

•

why is fucking the most important thing in life?
it's sad
tits won't save the world [not sexist, but fuck you anyways]

wow wasn't that last bit OFF THE HOOK!?
go to bed, I don't care what time it is

Without Eyes

Watch

Right now i am building a wall around me
a wall so tall you'll never see me
a wall so thick you'll never hear me

Wouldn't it be easier to build a wall around you?
No because you'd fight back, i don't want that
I will leave you alone

Behind this wall I will age like the caterpillar
I will break down this wall and you will not know me
My face will be aged, my voice will be bitter

It will be worth it, to seperate from you
I don't know how long i will have to stay enclosed in these walls

Sometimes you have to sacrifice to succeed
I will not only sacrifice myself
but all of you
will die
for me
and my
cause
only

The light will not reach behind this wall
though tormented seeds of nature shall grow
no emotion will pass through the wall
the wall will destroy without having to actually do so
How innocent of the wall
I am my own prisoner
I am my own murderer
The wall is my weapon

I will crawl out one day
different
how you'll hate what i've become
how you'll hate what i've become

meh

Does everyone have to be something?
Do decisions have to be made?
Should everything be defined?

If you're not happy are you the absence which is sad?
If not sad then are you something more in depth of sadness?
Does that mean you're even so more depressed because the opposite of which you are is now greater?

If you can never be happy are you doomed to be sad?
Or are you simply less happy?

What makes you happy?
Do you notice when it's not there?
Do you have time to value it?
Or are you too good for that?

Is there someone hurting?
Can you help them?
Although easier, is it more satisfying to do nothing?
Can you revive someone?

Can I help you?
Can I hurt you?

It's funny, everyone labels everything, whether more or less important.
Can this work?
What about equality?
Is women's equality more important than racial equality?
If we're all to be equal how can one's idea of equality be different then anothers?

No one can change for you

Body and mind vs. Time and Death

It turns out
we all have the same days
we all remember when life was easy
waking up at 10 seeing who was up to bike to the store
it was a mission back then
now we have cars
and we go because we need something, alone
we don't do it for the trip itself
or the mission it is
we just do it
like robots

we all miss the past, so bad we we miss the future
keeping our innocence is impossible
somehow
we just can't hold on to anything
there is no such thing as friction in life
you can't wake up to the same thing forever
both for good and bad reasons
Good because you'd get bored
Bad, because you miss it
it's that bit that becomes a regular

what will you do
when that store you always used to go to with friends
goes out of business
find a new store?
try to make what you had because you were to stupid to charish it
it hurts
so much
but we all live
and we all die
and it's funny
we often think it the other way around

thinkin' we die first
life starts with the worst
then it's gets less ugly and good
but it turns out it's less understood
and everything you've worked for was wrong
and you've wanted this all for so long
like lights too bright for your eyes
like the girl you sold all your lies
nothings making sense anymore
you can never settle, escape war
there's always something hunting you down
and no matter how loud you scream, you don't sound
you just need some help, just some advice
an exit, good marks, a job, something nice
you had a long life don't want to do it twice
Life's about freedom? True but freedom has a price

How Ironic
sounds of supersonic
beating into your head
but making your heart dead
long lost mind
blazing through time
under the weight of my soul
cause of you I can't be whole
is it all over now? is this life?
defeated by my wrists kissing a knife?
Some say it's the small things that matter
But i never saw their heart shatter

curse

You're telling all your friends
turning me into the bad guy
I just wanted something innocent
and now I've gone too far

I alarmed and scared you
made you a victim
i've ruined your life
I will go away

sucks

It's hard thinking straight when both roads are parallel
I'm two people
My mind is in two
it hurts

I want to be sensitive always, but then there's no masculinity
and i can't keep up that way
but i certainly cannot keep this up
I don't want to have to be insane or repulsive
I just want to relax my mind
but i can't
everyone expects something
but i'm not popular
so that's pretty cool

Embed sin into soul

Recycle your mind
Remind yourself who you are

I'm ready to feel the consequences for what i've done
I've destroyed my life, and robbed the young
Tempted you with such songs that have never been sung
Told you i'd take those heavy words off your tongue

I made you cold when you were warm
I sent you out before the storm
I hid you away from sunlight
I killed your white knight

It's hard always being the one whos wrong
Accepting all bets, when you're going to lose
Everyone's watching, and you can't choose
It's hard always being the one whos wrong