it's not like anybody fucking cares
why do they care now?
when im starving and bleeding
they just want their own
that's all it is
a game
this is extra
am i down
am i down yet
you're out while im in
inside the box i sleep
i live here
but you know that already
some things can't change
cause i won't let them
I need my soul back
now im gonna force it back
who am i trying to be
you or someone else
whatever, its not me
you think you've had the worse
my blood is ink, and it's writing you a message
let me out for once
i see you trying to cage me
do you hear me scream
of course you do
Where is everyone
not on the way
they're never on the way
its never fair it's always your way
im gonna to take you out
you wait pretty eyes
i'll make the lights ugly
change when i look, very nice
I see what you're doing
fucking face me
don't run away like you always do
How is my favourite enemy by the way
Dying? Well that's not good enough
I hope each part of your body is ripped off
i hope each bump in your back is pierced
I hope the poison inside you is not enough to save you
Give me myself back
I don't want any of your bullshit
It's not my fault
the first time i've said that
it's not
I tried everything, nothing was an exception
but you had to win
you had to choke my life
you had to take it all away from me
everything i wanted, everything i had
you fucking stole it
and when you saw what you stole wasn't worth it
you threw it away
im not even good enough to be your trash?
I hear you suffer
but it's not loud enough
it's so quiet
let's all talk about it
i want them all to suffer
I want them all to hurt
the way i do
the way i always will
in every way possible
motion picks up and you're in the same spot
my day will be your year
i can't wait
these halls remind me
of the heart I once thought i had
Is it you ripping out my heart or me?
Sunday, December 28, 2008
This parade is out of fire Share
the prettiest girl always dresses the most ugly
baby its not about what you want
it's about what you get
and yet
you forget
you are in debt
to me the boy who introduced you to love
your light shines through me
but i've waited for so long
i've walked into death for you
I think it's time you take me
to your heaven
it's so safe to be alone
put it on
take me out
put it on
take me out
were going a ride aren't we?
through the back of my memories
we'll set on a runaway train
into the town with no name
Under the claws of the night
You'll smile like the moons light
As we across the bridge
into this castle's ribs
you're trying so hard to blossom
but that day will never come
When you forget your past
and your mind becomes one
You are mine
I've made you what you are
and if you forget
I won't be far
I'm always here for you
I know you will lose
When you lose i lose
I need you to win
Taste the sun in the morning
run
they're coming after you
and there's nothing you can do
Leaving, decieving
you left them grieving
take some of these things and hide away
i'll forget your face, swallow your name
are they afraid of me
they call me blue
but they'll take it back
when they drown in their pool
i'll surprise you somehow
you're always afraid of what im going to be
im your friend and im your enemy
you don't see what this thing means to me
I can't walk any further
it's time i turn around
and go home
for once
How i wish i could pull together
all my wandering memories
so i could imitate the feel
of an old, maybe forgotten memory
tomorrow seems like any other day
yesterday's so far away
baby its not about what you want
it's about what you get
and yet
you forget
you are in debt
to me the boy who introduced you to love
your light shines through me
but i've waited for so long
i've walked into death for you
I think it's time you take me
to your heaven
it's so safe to be alone
put it on
take me out
put it on
take me out
were going a ride aren't we?
through the back of my memories
we'll set on a runaway train
into the town with no name
Under the claws of the night
You'll smile like the moons light
As we across the bridge
into this castle's ribs
you're trying so hard to blossom
but that day will never come
When you forget your past
and your mind becomes one
You are mine
I've made you what you are
and if you forget
I won't be far
I'm always here for you
I know you will lose
When you lose i lose
I need you to win
Taste the sun in the morning
run
they're coming after you
and there's nothing you can do
Leaving, decieving
you left them grieving
take some of these things and hide away
i'll forget your face, swallow your name
are they afraid of me
they call me blue
but they'll take it back
when they drown in their pool
i'll surprise you somehow
you're always afraid of what im going to be
im your friend and im your enemy
you don't see what this thing means to me
I can't walk any further
it's time i turn around
and go home
for once
How i wish i could pull together
all my wandering memories
so i could imitate the feel
of an old, maybe forgotten memory
tomorrow seems like any other day
yesterday's so far away
why do i do this to myself?
Tonight
I want to feel alive
Like the others can
I want to sell my soul
Become colourblind
I don't want to see the world
from soul filled eyes
you can't fool me
you can even fool yourself
because you can't see
you're becoming something else
I don't want to drag your opinion out of you
But if you're turned off then leave
I'm sorry if this hurts
but maybe you need to be hurt
You broke my spine
I find trying to get around every ridge in your ribs causes problems
I should go straight for the heart
because i am complete
and i still feel weak
It's hard trying to resist failure
that's all it is really
A dream
that you could be happy
doing what is wrong
that is resisting failure
how can things that understand you
be your own enemies?
it's simple
you're just a fool
you get lost in the music
it's the sweat mixed with the lights
here we go
I don't want to repeat this
but there's no denying it
the story will tell itself if i don't
all these infections i'm creating
for one stupid cure
which i have still yet to find
I guess you need to understand the disease before you can have a cure
don't take my word for it though
I have nothing
I am a man without words, but stubborn enough to argue with my tongue
which cannot taste by the way
I've sold my own thoughts for you
but the profit isn't here
or anywhere
I am poor now
and i still sell everything i get
because i need you
I don't know what to do
I hope this gets through to you
the coldness means nothing because i have it everyday
i keep it in a jar, and this jar is locked away
I'm expressing my own flaws and my consciousness of this tragedy i have yet to prevent
I want to feel alive
Like the others can
I want to sell my soul
Become colourblind
I don't want to see the world
from soul filled eyes
you can't fool me
you can even fool yourself
because you can't see
you're becoming something else
I don't want to drag your opinion out of you
But if you're turned off then leave
I'm sorry if this hurts
but maybe you need to be hurt
You broke my spine
I find trying to get around every ridge in your ribs causes problems
I should go straight for the heart
because i am complete
and i still feel weak
It's hard trying to resist failure
that's all it is really
A dream
that you could be happy
doing what is wrong
that is resisting failure
how can things that understand you
be your own enemies?
it's simple
you're just a fool
you get lost in the music
it's the sweat mixed with the lights
here we go
I don't want to repeat this
but there's no denying it
the story will tell itself if i don't
all these infections i'm creating
for one stupid cure
which i have still yet to find
I guess you need to understand the disease before you can have a cure
don't take my word for it though
I have nothing
I am a man without words, but stubborn enough to argue with my tongue
which cannot taste by the way
I've sold my own thoughts for you
but the profit isn't here
or anywhere
I am poor now
and i still sell everything i get
because i need you
I don't know what to do
I hope this gets through to you
the coldness means nothing because i have it everyday
i keep it in a jar, and this jar is locked away
I'm expressing my own flaws and my consciousness of this tragedy i have yet to prevent
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Bob Dylan would be ashamed of me
well i remember nothings there
i guess she just don't care
I keep crawling back to her
and she keeps pushing me away
I guess if she won't like me tomorrow
it's cause she don't like me today
i've been trying to reach my arms out
pull the sanguine out of my word
but there ain't nothing i can do
nothing ever works, but everything always hurts
she puts me inside my own body
ties me up and stares me down
when she sees me start rotting
its my inner self i've found
I heard there was a way out
but everyone
I used to be your best advice
but i was only a device
to help you
always get your way
the past is long
your charm is strong
my face is wrong
i hate this song
and i cannot complete this with you
well if it takes two fighters
to tell you a story
I can bet you don't care about morals
you just want to bathe in glory
well im not wrong
i am wrong
i aint wrong
i don't belong
i thinking im drowning in my own self esteem
I don't care
my heart shares
but i'm not there
so it's not fair
but you'll take it anyways
and sell me
you say you will survive
but you won't really live your life
you're taking this the wrong way
i can't see it through
if it gets from me to you
i guess im probably cut and blue
don't sew me up im not ready to be one
im not for anyone
but if you see these sad emotions
and you feel my heart's commotions
you can fix me up anyway you want
im not alone
I am alone
i know i don't have a home
I get high and i slip into the zone
I become a drone
do you have some cash to loan
im a shark
my room is dark
and i don't care about you
or anyone
I have a criminals taste
i know i am a waste
stop me from drinking coffee
i don't want to catch a cold
I can't help but grow old
when the calvary comes in
you get inspired and win
but it's not that easy
don't you know
you can never give in
im a zombie
mindless but selfish
I just want more and I need you to give it to me
find a sword and stick it through me
when the sun comes up you watch and choke
and see the boy with the story of the year
i guess she just don't care
I keep crawling back to her
and she keeps pushing me away
I guess if she won't like me tomorrow
it's cause she don't like me today
i've been trying to reach my arms out
pull the sanguine out of my word
but there ain't nothing i can do
nothing ever works, but everything always hurts
she puts me inside my own body
ties me up and stares me down
when she sees me start rotting
its my inner self i've found
I heard there was a way out
but everyone
I used to be your best advice
but i was only a device
to help you
always get your way
the past is long
your charm is strong
my face is wrong
i hate this song
and i cannot complete this with you
well if it takes two fighters
to tell you a story
I can bet you don't care about morals
you just want to bathe in glory
well im not wrong
i am wrong
i aint wrong
i don't belong
i thinking im drowning in my own self esteem
I don't care
my heart shares
but i'm not there
so it's not fair
but you'll take it anyways
and sell me
you say you will survive
but you won't really live your life
you're taking this the wrong way
i can't see it through
if it gets from me to you
i guess im probably cut and blue
don't sew me up im not ready to be one
im not for anyone
but if you see these sad emotions
and you feel my heart's commotions
you can fix me up anyway you want
im not alone
I am alone
i know i don't have a home
I get high and i slip into the zone
I become a drone
do you have some cash to loan
im a shark
my room is dark
and i don't care about you
or anyone
I have a criminals taste
i know i am a waste
stop me from drinking coffee
i don't want to catch a cold
I can't help but grow old
when the calvary comes in
you get inspired and win
but it's not that easy
don't you know
you can never give in
im a zombie
mindless but selfish
I just want more and I need you to give it to me
find a sword and stick it through me
when the sun comes up you watch and choke
and see the boy with the story of the year
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Bleak to Existence
The melody in my mind
is sung in my heart which you can't find
A drop of blood in the night
If it's not wrong it's right
Outstanding, incompetence
I've taken my body because of you
I've dressed so many
And stole their pride
Under this thick skin is something waiting to be free
far down into the impossible there is something alive
Im stepping through my sorrow and it's up to my knee
Under everything, can I still survive?
You keep telling me you're there
but when i need you the most
your fade into the air
You turn into a Ghost
As a thousand sailors sink into the sea
I can only think of what you've done to me
The sun burns me like an ashtray heart
And you and me remain at the start
The flesh i inherited is my gift
With or without it I won't drift
I'm dressed in ivory sin
It gets darker when you look within
This broken heart worthy of a thousand stitches
I will only take them when she wishes
I love the way you smile
it reminds me im in a trance, a denial
I'm putting it all out
I forgetting how you felt
She gets in my head
For a moment i have happiness instead
Make your move
I've lost my spot
Waiting for so long at the front of the line
Was it worth the leave?
You were the rose without a thorn
The reason why I'm torn
No medicine can cure what destroys me
No other soul will set my own free
Until the day I wake up without your taste
I will draw life from your smile and not your face
How deep inside me you've planted a seed made to corrupt the very essence of myself. An infectious sickness of natures poison could not have cursed me so. I have sunk into a level of discomfort as i had been breathing time, like a smoker. You shade in my bright side, I am in debt to the amount of sorrow and shame you have let me hold for you.
I love you.
is sung in my heart which you can't find
A drop of blood in the night
If it's not wrong it's right
Outstanding, incompetence
I've taken my body because of you
I've dressed so many
And stole their pride
Under this thick skin is something waiting to be free
far down into the impossible there is something alive
Im stepping through my sorrow and it's up to my knee
Under everything, can I still survive?
You keep telling me you're there
but when i need you the most
your fade into the air
You turn into a Ghost
As a thousand sailors sink into the sea
I can only think of what you've done to me
The sun burns me like an ashtray heart
And you and me remain at the start
The flesh i inherited is my gift
With or without it I won't drift
I'm dressed in ivory sin
It gets darker when you look within
This broken heart worthy of a thousand stitches
I will only take them when she wishes
I love the way you smile
it reminds me im in a trance, a denial
I'm putting it all out
I forgetting how you felt
She gets in my head
For a moment i have happiness instead
Make your move
I've lost my spot
Waiting for so long at the front of the line
Was it worth the leave?
You were the rose without a thorn
The reason why I'm torn
No medicine can cure what destroys me
No other soul will set my own free
Until the day I wake up without your taste
I will draw life from your smile and not your face
How deep inside me you've planted a seed made to corrupt the very essence of myself. An infectious sickness of natures poison could not have cursed me so. I have sunk into a level of discomfort as i had been breathing time, like a smoker. You shade in my bright side, I am in debt to the amount of sorrow and shame you have let me hold for you.
I love you.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
All the morning until I weep
To be cut in half
is to be divided
i am destroyed
i am half a heart
I am a cursed night
there once was day
but now all is dark
everything seems dangerous now
there is no use in trying to escape myself
I was meant to decay, from inside out
You know what you are doing to me
You know i cannot fight back
Such a fragile situation
Yet I continue to keep my tongue locked
My lips are sewn
It will be so painful to open them
How will i ever speak to you
You are the inner lining demon in my soul
you see everything i do
it will never impress you
i am never enough
I lay here choking on my own decisions
Give me your hand and i'll give you mine
Give me your heart and i'll give you time
Because of you i'll can never give her what she'll never have
I know you're afraid but you have to hear me calling
All along i thought i could save you
when i needed you to save me
I never wanted you for anything other than yourself
and you waited until it was too late
you can't bring back the dead as they were alive
You would make a horrible god
you're indecisive and immune to emotion
there is no content in you, only trouble
you live off the sweat of others
I've given up on you
I won't be coming back
you've taken all I had
you've taken it all
I can no longer exist with you
I can no longer exist
I failed everything
You stopped my dreams
you pulled my soul from my skin
Everything i say has been said
and yet you don't realize im dead
i've been denying myself for a long time
i need to break free from my own
The air and sense of my spirit is tainted
poison comes from beneath my skin
If you ask you can come in
is to be divided
i am destroyed
i am half a heart
I am a cursed night
there once was day
but now all is dark
everything seems dangerous now
there is no use in trying to escape myself
I was meant to decay, from inside out
You know what you are doing to me
You know i cannot fight back
Such a fragile situation
Yet I continue to keep my tongue locked
My lips are sewn
It will be so painful to open them
How will i ever speak to you
You are the inner lining demon in my soul
you see everything i do
it will never impress you
i am never enough
I lay here choking on my own decisions
Give me your hand and i'll give you mine
Give me your heart and i'll give you time
Because of you i'll can never give her what she'll never have
I know you're afraid but you have to hear me calling
All along i thought i could save you
when i needed you to save me
I never wanted you for anything other than yourself
and you waited until it was too late
you can't bring back the dead as they were alive
You would make a horrible god
you're indecisive and immune to emotion
there is no content in you, only trouble
you live off the sweat of others
I've given up on you
I won't be coming back
you've taken all I had
you've taken it all
I can no longer exist with you
I can no longer exist
I failed everything
You stopped my dreams
you pulled my soul from my skin
Everything i say has been said
and yet you don't realize im dead
i've been denying myself for a long time
i need to break free from my own
The air and sense of my spirit is tainted
poison comes from beneath my skin
If you ask you can come in
Thursday, October 16, 2008
japan 21
With all of the comotion and butane in my veins
It's hard to recognize, these faces all the same
Waiting for that moment
when will it come and find me
For hours I stare at the clock
or at least i think hours
the numbers only change
when i'm not looking
It's as if the time is afraid of me
Meanwhile in the backround
the tv fuzz goes dead
and i know I'm not alone
I feel you
coming closer
I know it's in my head
but i can't wait to taste you
This illusion has gone too far
I argue with myself
if it's not you it's something else
it's haunting that mind is far away
it's still back in the day that i hurt you
I've got a scar with your name on it
It's hard to recognize, these faces all the same
Waiting for that moment
when will it come and find me
For hours I stare at the clock
or at least i think hours
the numbers only change
when i'm not looking
It's as if the time is afraid of me
Meanwhile in the backround
the tv fuzz goes dead
and i know I'm not alone
I feel you
coming closer
I know it's in my head
but i can't wait to taste you
This illusion has gone too far
I argue with myself
if it's not you it's something else
it's haunting that mind is far away
it's still back in the day that i hurt you
I've got a scar with your name on it
Friday, September 12, 2008
Girl i hope you rot.
You've all felt that feeling to end your life, that surge of confused hate. It's like someone shows you a hundred pictures in a second and says "how are they relevant". You're just flooded with so much you don't know what to do, what to think. Your mind gets heavy.
You don't want to kill yourself, you just want to be dead. With that being said you can recognize that you are not dead inside.
If you feel dead inside why would you want to be dead then? It feels shitty enough having it all inside why would you want it out, so you don't feel at all?
If something is so powerful it can make you hurt can't that mean there is something equally as powerful to make you feel good?
Like I've said before, the cure is the disease, and vice versa.
You don't want to kill yourself, you just want to be dead. With that being said you can recognize that you are not dead inside.
If you feel dead inside why would you want to be dead then? It feels shitty enough having it all inside why would you want it out, so you don't feel at all?
If something is so powerful it can make you hurt can't that mean there is something equally as powerful to make you feel good?
Like I've said before, the cure is the disease, and vice versa.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
She makes my mind stupid
How horrible the scenario when the cure is the disease
I beg of her, I scream and scratch, to end this life for me
She's relative and beautiful and full of my mistakes
I'm gullable and sensitve, her smiles give me aches
The fault is mine but you were there all along
watching me fit where i didn't belong
And now I watch the destruction of my self
I love your smile so much
I'll know you'll be happy when i die
so that's why i'm going to kill myself
Your smile is to die for
She burns me deep
to a level i've learned to enjoy
I beg of her, I scream and scratch, to end this life for me
She's relative and beautiful and full of my mistakes
I'm gullable and sensitve, her smiles give me aches
The fault is mine but you were there all along
watching me fit where i didn't belong
And now I watch the destruction of my self
I love your smile so much
I'll know you'll be happy when i die
so that's why i'm going to kill myself
Your smile is to die for
She burns me deep
to a level i've learned to enjoy
Monday, August 18, 2008
oats :)
It's not easy having a mind full of red
I'm never going home
I'll hurt everyone around me
I will ruin everything
My mind is a dark forest you'll get lost in
It's cold, and infectious
Don't let me near you
I can already taste you screaming
Echo of strange sounds
All the time
A cold cave full of pain
You should leave
I'm never going home
I'll hurt everyone around me
I will ruin everything
My mind is a dark forest you'll get lost in
It's cold, and infectious
Don't let me near you
I can already taste you screaming
Echo of strange sounds
All the time
A cold cave full of pain
You should leave
Its nothing just a distraction
I don't feel alive enough to sacrifice my mind for you
As i let my vision burn
allowing my senses to dull
i've become nothing
Resisting you is too much for me
your taste, which i'll never have
i am tempted by what you don't offer
you are the soul in my body
As time fades away and i lose myself
my mind
oh
I'll lose everything but my memories of you
I'll burn my smile
let my skin decay
for some time
just for one day
And is it the way i'm nothing to you
do i extract joy from the freight i provide
you're the best drug on the market
it hurts knowing i could instead be ruining my chances with you
but i'd rather keep it confidential
so only i know
please don't go
As i let my vision burn
allowing my senses to dull
i've become nothing
Resisting you is too much for me
your taste, which i'll never have
i am tempted by what you don't offer
you are the soul in my body
As time fades away and i lose myself
my mind
oh
I'll lose everything but my memories of you
I'll burn my smile
let my skin decay
for some time
just for one day
And is it the way i'm nothing to you
do i extract joy from the freight i provide
you're the best drug on the market
it hurts knowing i could instead be ruining my chances with you
but i'd rather keep it confidential
so only i know
please don't go
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Planet Caravan
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
oh there's a life ahead of me, so much I can do. The things I want are the things I can't have, this is found in almost all of our lives. Why do we want what we don't need? Why do we have to feel superior to others? What's the point of it, is it for yourself, or is it really to make others feel worse? Does it matter what shirt you wear? Who's words come out of your mouth? Are they yours, or someone elses?
Why is it once I die, I am still living in one way or another, can't I just quit this? I never said I wanted to play but here I am, and there's no way out. Apparently if I die i'm still living somewhere else or as something else so what good is dying if i'm not dead?
I hope my kids aren't like this, I hope I'm as good as a father as my dad is. Sure i'm the way I am, but my dad would hold the world at gunpoint for me. My mom is the same, she loves me with her heart full. I thank god, or whatever created me, that it gave me these two individuals to raise me.
This is it, this is all i'm good at. Making it seem like every minute of my life is underwater, what talent is that? This doesn't work! This doesn't seem right, there has to be more then
birth -> school -> work -> die
It's not clicking, does this make sense to you? (whoever may be reading this) Should you live to die like so many do? The answer is quite obvious that you must find good moments and live them out to the fullest that you can. But I don't get that many good moments. Or do I, am I just a negative creep who makes nirvana references in an ironic fashion while in reality I just made the word ironic mean something less of what it should? If you're confused then don't bother, most shouldn't be confused.
I can't do it. my mind is never where it should be. My dreams are becoming my reality and my reality is becoming my dreams. Maybe I should just sleep for now on, i've almost physically accepted an answer to this question.
I found you there wearing my jacket, under the street light with the wind blowing in your face and mine. I could barely feel my soul that night, I could feel my tears freezing, as I approached you. It was early after night, no one knew we were there. Although the snow almost killed me I still brought you tulips. Your favourite right? It could've been an opportunity but by the time I arrived you were both gone and still there. I layed beside your body, and let the white sand cover both you and me. This midnights tale is the closest thing to a story of romance and happy ending.
That wasn't depressing, and I don't mean to sound lamely sarcastic like the viewers of gilmore girls. I should be preparing for my big future (which I of course won't be apart of) right now.
So until I hate my beautiful life again, I love you.
Sincerest regards,
Some suicidal fag
oh there's a life ahead of me, so much I can do. The things I want are the things I can't have, this is found in almost all of our lives. Why do we want what we don't need? Why do we have to feel superior to others? What's the point of it, is it for yourself, or is it really to make others feel worse? Does it matter what shirt you wear? Who's words come out of your mouth? Are they yours, or someone elses?
Why is it once I die, I am still living in one way or another, can't I just quit this? I never said I wanted to play but here I am, and there's no way out. Apparently if I die i'm still living somewhere else or as something else so what good is dying if i'm not dead?
I hope my kids aren't like this, I hope I'm as good as a father as my dad is. Sure i'm the way I am, but my dad would hold the world at gunpoint for me. My mom is the same, she loves me with her heart full. I thank god, or whatever created me, that it gave me these two individuals to raise me.
This is it, this is all i'm good at. Making it seem like every minute of my life is underwater, what talent is that? This doesn't work! This doesn't seem right, there has to be more then
birth -> school -> work -> die
It's not clicking, does this make sense to you? (whoever may be reading this) Should you live to die like so many do? The answer is quite obvious that you must find good moments and live them out to the fullest that you can. But I don't get that many good moments. Or do I, am I just a negative creep who makes nirvana references in an ironic fashion while in reality I just made the word ironic mean something less of what it should? If you're confused then don't bother, most shouldn't be confused.
I can't do it. my mind is never where it should be. My dreams are becoming my reality and my reality is becoming my dreams. Maybe I should just sleep for now on, i've almost physically accepted an answer to this question.
I found you there wearing my jacket, under the street light with the wind blowing in your face and mine. I could barely feel my soul that night, I could feel my tears freezing, as I approached you. It was early after night, no one knew we were there. Although the snow almost killed me I still brought you tulips. Your favourite right? It could've been an opportunity but by the time I arrived you were both gone and still there. I layed beside your body, and let the white sand cover both you and me. This midnights tale is the closest thing to a story of romance and happy ending.
That wasn't depressing, and I don't mean to sound lamely sarcastic like the viewers of gilmore girls. I should be preparing for my big future (which I of course won't be apart of) right now.
So until I hate my beautiful life again, I love you.
Sincerest regards,
Some suicidal fag
Step 1: Try // Step 2: Fail
Why is it that I put myself in this position every single time I have the chance? Are any of you really out there or is this just fantasy? I take a day to dissect my heart just so you can tell me you're there and i'm just blind although I can see perfectly? To some of you, I am wronging and rejecting what you are giving and I apologize, these words are not for your ears, these are for those whom tell me that I did a good thing and walk away wiping the relationship status off with a sigh of relief knowing they'll never speak to me again. That is, if they even initially cared about me, and knew I existed, and had any doubts about my decision to live.
I build you a house without you asking, you live in it for a day and then burn it down.
But it's not fair! It's just not fair! I'm not allowed to rip my mind out of my body and show you it or else I become something you avoid. No matter how hard I try, I'm not trying, no matter what I write it's not written. Why does everything I do ultimately end in a fail? A year can be shown in a minute and what is felt? You think the world revolves around you your entire life, everything is based on you, you never stop to think "hey maybe everyone else feels like this? Maybe there is something I can do to make them feel good?" No, you don't, you never care, you always think about you and only you.
Thus, I am not apart of your life. I'm fucking dead inside, when I have headphones on, the sound waves just bounce off my hollow interior. You've hurt me.
I build you a house without you asking, you live in it for a day and then burn it down.
But it's not fair! It's just not fair! I'm not allowed to rip my mind out of my body and show you it or else I become something you avoid. No matter how hard I try, I'm not trying, no matter what I write it's not written. Why does everything I do ultimately end in a fail? A year can be shown in a minute and what is felt? You think the world revolves around you your entire life, everything is based on you, you never stop to think "hey maybe everyone else feels like this? Maybe there is something I can do to make them feel good?" No, you don't, you never care, you always think about you and only you.
Thus, I am not apart of your life. I'm fucking dead inside, when I have headphones on, the sound waves just bounce off my hollow interior. You've hurt me.
I did not wite this
Listen...
There is a knocking in the skull,
An endless silent shout
Of something beating on a wall,
And crying, “Let me out!”
That solitary prisoner
Will never hear reply.
No comrade in eternity
Can hear the frantic cry.
No heart can share the terror
That haunts his monstrous dark.
The light that filters through the chinks
No other eye can mark.
When flesh is linked with eager flesh,
And words run warm and full,
I think that he is loneliest then,
The captive in the skull.
Caught in a mesh of living veins,
In cell of padded bone,
He loneliest is when he pretends
That he is not alone.
We’d free the incarcerate race of man
That such a doom endures
Could only you unlock my skull,
Or I creep into yours.
There is a knocking in the skull,
An endless silent shout
Of something beating on a wall,
And crying, “Let me out!”
That solitary prisoner
Will never hear reply.
No comrade in eternity
Can hear the frantic cry.
No heart can share the terror
That haunts his monstrous dark.
The light that filters through the chinks
No other eye can mark.
When flesh is linked with eager flesh,
And words run warm and full,
I think that he is loneliest then,
The captive in the skull.
Caught in a mesh of living veins,
In cell of padded bone,
He loneliest is when he pretends
That he is not alone.
We’d free the incarcerate race of man
That such a doom endures
Could only you unlock my skull,
Or I creep into yours.
The Angry Angel
First off I just want you guys to know I wrote a really positive note last night but facebook fucked up and lost it. Sorry, I can't imitate the feeling of joy I had inside of myself because again I've been hit.
Now for the note I want to post, here it is.
No, it's not a competition anymore cause I already lost
Everything happends so fast before you know it you're done
I'm an angel is disguise, even in disguise from myself
Everything happends for a reason, but how does that help you define the future?
If you want to do something, how do you do it?
Will it just happen if it is supposed to happen for a reason?
Was I supposed to say this, will this effect you enough to change your life?
So many depressed teenagers, is everyone supposed to feel this way?
Why is whatever I do wrong? I don't mean this as a stupid kid who's mom got mad at him
I mean all my choices, they almost always make me end up worse than I started
And I don't learn my lesson, i'm still risking it all constantly because i'm so desperate to be happy
but what is happiness to me? I think it is a girlfriend. Sadly that is my definition of happiness.
I just need someone I guess, it's kinda sad but whoever I want I can't have.
And it's not like I'm talking about a movie star, these are real people i'm thinking of.
And they're all just...wow...it just realized...they're all better than me.
Shouldn't I get someone better than me? Wouldn't that mean they'd be saving me?
No, it doesn't work that way.
You can tell I am really depressed as of now because i usually only write notes after the day is over
but for me I just woke up, the day has just begun.
So then how will I feel by night time?
I'm sorry but I don't mean to make you guys hurt, but i guess it's contagious.
I believe that I am an Angel.
Angels are beautiful right?
But they're all cursed.
So as well as I look, I'm not.
Angels don't have freedom.
They only have one purpose.
And that is to help others
With disregard to their own problems.
I guess I just need my own Angel
If I'm going to suffer at least give me wings.
This reminds me of a line from an alkaline trio song
"Take your wings outside, you can't fly in here"
Maybe that line is for me
maybe "in here" is this world
So i just need to die
then I can fly and be an angel
Now for the note I want to post, here it is.
No, it's not a competition anymore cause I already lost
Everything happends so fast before you know it you're done
I'm an angel is disguise, even in disguise from myself
Everything happends for a reason, but how does that help you define the future?
If you want to do something, how do you do it?
Will it just happen if it is supposed to happen for a reason?
Was I supposed to say this, will this effect you enough to change your life?
So many depressed teenagers, is everyone supposed to feel this way?
Why is whatever I do wrong? I don't mean this as a stupid kid who's mom got mad at him
I mean all my choices, they almost always make me end up worse than I started
And I don't learn my lesson, i'm still risking it all constantly because i'm so desperate to be happy
but what is happiness to me? I think it is a girlfriend. Sadly that is my definition of happiness.
I just need someone I guess, it's kinda sad but whoever I want I can't have.
And it's not like I'm talking about a movie star, these are real people i'm thinking of.
And they're all just...wow...it just realized...they're all better than me.
Shouldn't I get someone better than me? Wouldn't that mean they'd be saving me?
No, it doesn't work that way.
You can tell I am really depressed as of now because i usually only write notes after the day is over
but for me I just woke up, the day has just begun.
So then how will I feel by night time?
I'm sorry but I don't mean to make you guys hurt, but i guess it's contagious.
I believe that I am an Angel.
Angels are beautiful right?
But they're all cursed.
So as well as I look, I'm not.
Angels don't have freedom.
They only have one purpose.
And that is to help others
With disregard to their own problems.
I guess I just need my own Angel
If I'm going to suffer at least give me wings.
This reminds me of a line from an alkaline trio song
"Take your wings outside, you can't fly in here"
Maybe that line is for me
maybe "in here" is this world
So i just need to die
then I can fly and be an angel
And then everything will be ok
because I won't have anymore problems
and I can still come help you guys
so everyone will win
Last night i laid in my bed
in the darkness of life and my fear
I put my hands together under my chin
and asked god to kill me before i woke up
I hurt so much, inside and out, if it weren't for my friends I would be dead.
I am here only for you guys
I wouldn't want you guys to feel pain ever
And since I'm an Angel I guess I found my purpose.
Fucking ace
Whoa, mood change
I suddenly feel really really happy
like, I've forgotten every bad thing
and now everything seems so small
the bright important things are right there
I'm laughing as i'm writing this
It feels like...well I don't know
I haven't felt this way in so long
It just feels great! Beautiful!
I'm listening to old music I used to listen to
and playing guitar, singing a bit
Remembering all the good times
and I just feel so awesome
I'm almost waiting for tears to come out of my eyes
It's such a weird feeling, I like revisted my old self
Things come and go right? Because they temporary right?
Well, I think it's temporary that they're gone
That's what it means, THINGS come and go
no different things, the same things
The same friend will go and then come back
if they were an important fried the coming back will be incredible!
I am usually sad and depressed cause I can't get happiness
but now hapiness came to me, I didn't find it
Maybe life is just about hanging in there
I hung in there and now I have happiness
This reminds me of the lyrics to an ex-favourite song
punk as fuck - down by law
"lookout for your chances to try to get away
when voices scream inside your head
just turn your amp up all the way
all the lights are black lights except when they turn gray
I flicked the switch, I made my choice
i'm gonna change it all today
cause I know that I can take them on
want to find a way out, just get me out of here
climbing to the next rung, well this is my wonder year
burning up inside in my body & my mind
after all this work i've decided this is my time
cause I know that I can take them on
and i'm not sorry that its done
and i'm not sorry that I won
now i've cried my last tear
cause this is my freaking year"
And now I'm sitting here writing and listening to transplants
and everything seems to be okay
the only thing wrong is I work so I can't go out with friends
but fuck it man! I have friends at work so what am I losing!?
Right now, and you might wanna take a screenshot or quote this or something because it's rare
I love my life, and I truly love you all
Your angry angel, DerekDAVID
I suddenly feel really really happy
like, I've forgotten every bad thing
and now everything seems so small
the bright important things are right there
I'm laughing as i'm writing this
It feels like...well I don't know
I haven't felt this way in so long
It just feels great! Beautiful!
I'm listening to old music I used to listen to
and playing guitar, singing a bit
Remembering all the good times
and I just feel so awesome
I'm almost waiting for tears to come out of my eyes
It's such a weird feeling, I like revisted my old self
Things come and go right? Because they temporary right?
Well, I think it's temporary that they're gone
That's what it means, THINGS come and go
no different things, the same things
The same friend will go and then come back
if they were an important fried the coming back will be incredible!
I am usually sad and depressed cause I can't get happiness
but now hapiness came to me, I didn't find it
Maybe life is just about hanging in there
I hung in there and now I have happiness
This reminds me of the lyrics to an ex-favourite song
punk as fuck - down by law
"lookout for your chances to try to get away
when voices scream inside your head
just turn your amp up all the way
all the lights are black lights except when they turn gray
I flicked the switch, I made my choice
i'm gonna change it all today
cause I know that I can take them on
want to find a way out, just get me out of here
climbing to the next rung, well this is my wonder year
burning up inside in my body & my mind
after all this work i've decided this is my time
cause I know that I can take them on
and i'm not sorry that its done
and i'm not sorry that I won
now i've cried my last tear
cause this is my freaking year"
And now I'm sitting here writing and listening to transplants
and everything seems to be okay
the only thing wrong is I work so I can't go out with friends
but fuck it man! I have friends at work so what am I losing!?
Right now, and you might wanna take a screenshot or quote this or something because it's rare
I love my life, and I truly love you all
Your angry angel, DerekDAVID
Bleeding thoughts
I believe there is no heaven or hell because neither can be defined without the opposite.
You can't have a shadow without light, and you can't have light without a shadow.
You have to free your mind to accept and understand these things, it makes you feel better.
Some might feel stress while reading my second sentence, they may think "Well I can prove him wrong" and thus they start to think and prove me wrong. While it is very possible to prove me wrong, you'll be making yourself think, and therefore creating needless stress.
Just accept it, let it be like a breeze of wind pushing your hair back on a warm summer night.
When you can accept things, you will feel a spiritual equivalent to taking a deep breath and slowly breathing out in a relaxed tone.
There is no need to be thinking uselessly, you should only construct. Only think about how to achieve what you need, don't go out of your way to get it.
Everyone is the center of the universe, because to everyone, everything that happens effects them. Thus there are multiple centers f the universe, and through this we learn that everyone is together spiritually, all riding the same wave. And at the same time, we are at different points of the universe, so we can understand we are apart of the same reality, but we are separate through perspectives and feelings.
10 people in a room each see 9 people, however not one person sees the exact same thing as another. Now do you understand how you can be in the same position as another but you can feel different?
A mirror will reflect an image but take no part in what is reflected. If I hit someone out of anger, they will feel anger but they will not have to move on and do as I did, this is where you need to change and evolve.
At one part in your life you realize you need this change and to evolve.
If you end up in the same bed, at the same time, with the same thoughts, and same dreams, every night, it is sad. But if you realize this, you can be happy.
Small steps though, move within your space then once you're comfortable, expand your space. This is the basis of life. I realized no matter what happened to me, no matter how temporarily uncomfortable I am, i'll end up the same by 11:00pm. So I laid in snow face first and started playing in it, regardless of feeling embarrassed, because no matter what I was the same at the end of the night. This is moving within my space, I know where I can move (basically I know what won't effect my life) and then I get comfortable doing things like this. Once this phase is over you expand, you do things that change your night, your pattern, your life.
Sounds impossible, but that's because you're putting useless stress on your head. Why only be happy and relaxed when you're dreaming under the weight of your own sleep? Fucking live.
-
Another thought, people spend the first 20-30 years of life preparing for the future, but why? It always seems that people just want to get away from the house they're paying for. They get sick of what they earned. I don't understand, why would you spend half a lifetime building something you're going to abandon. I realize nothing will last forever, but this isn't exactly parallel to that concept.
In Death of a salesman Willy Loman say something that I find incredibly interesting and true, it's something like "You spend a whole life paying off a house, and when it's finally paid off you have no one to live in it."
It seems to be a common goal to waste a life. Almost everyone does it. So how do you avoid wasting a life? There's probably no straight answer, so maybe I should investigate the question whether than WASTING MY LIFE looking for the answer. See what I did there? haha
You can't have a shadow without light, and you can't have light without a shadow.
You have to free your mind to accept and understand these things, it makes you feel better.
Some might feel stress while reading my second sentence, they may think "Well I can prove him wrong" and thus they start to think and prove me wrong. While it is very possible to prove me wrong, you'll be making yourself think, and therefore creating needless stress.
Just accept it, let it be like a breeze of wind pushing your hair back on a warm summer night.
When you can accept things, you will feel a spiritual equivalent to taking a deep breath and slowly breathing out in a relaxed tone.
There is no need to be thinking uselessly, you should only construct. Only think about how to achieve what you need, don't go out of your way to get it.
Everyone is the center of the universe, because to everyone, everything that happens effects them. Thus there are multiple centers f the universe, and through this we learn that everyone is together spiritually, all riding the same wave. And at the same time, we are at different points of the universe, so we can understand we are apart of the same reality, but we are separate through perspectives and feelings.
10 people in a room each see 9 people, however not one person sees the exact same thing as another. Now do you understand how you can be in the same position as another but you can feel different?
A mirror will reflect an image but take no part in what is reflected. If I hit someone out of anger, they will feel anger but they will not have to move on and do as I did, this is where you need to change and evolve.
At one part in your life you realize you need this change and to evolve.
If you end up in the same bed, at the same time, with the same thoughts, and same dreams, every night, it is sad. But if you realize this, you can be happy.
Small steps though, move within your space then once you're comfortable, expand your space. This is the basis of life. I realized no matter what happened to me, no matter how temporarily uncomfortable I am, i'll end up the same by 11:00pm. So I laid in snow face first and started playing in it, regardless of feeling embarrassed, because no matter what I was the same at the end of the night. This is moving within my space, I know where I can move (basically I know what won't effect my life) and then I get comfortable doing things like this. Once this phase is over you expand, you do things that change your night, your pattern, your life.
Sounds impossible, but that's because you're putting useless stress on your head. Why only be happy and relaxed when you're dreaming under the weight of your own sleep? Fucking live.
-
Another thought, people spend the first 20-30 years of life preparing for the future, but why? It always seems that people just want to get away from the house they're paying for. They get sick of what they earned. I don't understand, why would you spend half a lifetime building something you're going to abandon. I realize nothing will last forever, but this isn't exactly parallel to that concept.
In Death of a salesman Willy Loman say something that I find incredibly interesting and true, it's something like "You spend a whole life paying off a house, and when it's finally paid off you have no one to live in it."
It seems to be a common goal to waste a life. Almost everyone does it. So how do you avoid wasting a life? There's probably no straight answer, so maybe I should investigate the question whether than WASTING MY LIFE looking for the answer. See what I did there? haha
The simplest things make the most sense
I need you to take me somewhere in your car
I'll sleep to the dead radio and the sounds of the vehicle
my face presses against the window, you are alone with company
I can see through my closed eyes the lights from outside
It'll be beautiful, our destination will be home
we spent all night at a place where the music never stops
and the people are always dancing, just forever
It can last for as long as we want it to
Red light and we've stopped,you wouldn't of had the night end any other way
I wake for a split second and see we're relatively close to home, why will this ride end?
I like this feeling, relaxed and with the only person that can feel what i feel
Some body parts slowly going numb, but my hands are warm from the heater
We're almost there but I can't accept it, I just want to stay beside you
Our left approaches I feel my body being pushed against the door at this turn
Though neither were in the same mental position we enjoyed every second of this trip
I awake the moment the car touches our driveway, let's do it again tomorrow, i'll drive
I'll sleep to the dead radio and the sounds of the vehicle
my face presses against the window, you are alone with company
I can see through my closed eyes the lights from outside
It'll be beautiful, our destination will be home
we spent all night at a place where the music never stops
and the people are always dancing, just forever
It can last for as long as we want it to
Red light and we've stopped,you wouldn't of had the night end any other way
I wake for a split second and see we're relatively close to home, why will this ride end?
I like this feeling, relaxed and with the only person that can feel what i feel
Some body parts slowly going numb, but my hands are warm from the heater
We're almost there but I can't accept it, I just want to stay beside you
Our left approaches I feel my body being pushed against the door at this turn
Though neither were in the same mental position we enjoyed every second of this trip
I awake the moment the car touches our driveway, let's do it again tomorrow, i'll drive
Oceans are only good for a)drowning yourself + b)drowning others
It has occurred to me that you can never be completely happy
It seems when I'm happy others or worse
But it's not an imbalance, it's that the comparison has changed
I'm not comparing 0 to 5 anymore, i'm comparing 7 to 5
I can't believe how much of a dick I was
So many miserable people and I'm usually one of them
There's always something that makes you turn
So many negative perspectives
You want something no one knows about, so you can show others but when someone else knows about them, you're mad...why?
I don't know why though
but the answer is obvious, you're selfish and you need attention
btw I made cky
hot air rises so be angry in the sky?
Weed is gay, but i'm a fag so that's okay if that's my opinion
People smoke to be cool, not because it gets the stress off
Drinking is lame too, I know I say i do it occasionally, but I seriously think it's lame. I'm the same age as you, I know what's going on, if I choose not to drink a fucking beer fuck off.
Kids don't want to be kids but they'll act like kids in the process of not being kids
I like being at starbucks with all the intellectuals, brb need to call my mom to pick me up
I have colours of the rainbow in my hair, that means my take on life is superior to yours
I drink coffee in the morning because i need the energy to get through a class I tell others I sleep through
Sometimes you don't know what to feel
So you're angry
Sometimes you agree with what I say because you need something to connect to
I can say something alot of others will say but I'll earn the medal cause you like me more
It's hard not knowing your future with all this pressure and everyone needs you so you can't let it get to you or else if you fall, everything else falls.
I'm fucked and I don't care.
I don't have a heart and anyone that says I do is a cunt.
Why am I like this?
It's because you can never completely be happy
So make two lives, one will hold your work, school, etc. And the other will hold you.
You don't have to stay this way, you don't have to believe what I say either. I phrased that so the last word wouldn't rhyme.
I am a passenger, you're the driver.
It seems when I'm happy others or worse
But it's not an imbalance, it's that the comparison has changed
I'm not comparing 0 to 5 anymore, i'm comparing 7 to 5
I can't believe how much of a dick I was
So many miserable people and I'm usually one of them
There's always something that makes you turn
So many negative perspectives
You want something no one knows about, so you can show others but when someone else knows about them, you're mad...why?
I don't know why though
but the answer is obvious, you're selfish and you need attention
btw I made cky
hot air rises so be angry in the sky?
Weed is gay, but i'm a fag so that's okay if that's my opinion
People smoke to be cool, not because it gets the stress off
Drinking is lame too, I know I say i do it occasionally, but I seriously think it's lame. I'm the same age as you, I know what's going on, if I choose not to drink a fucking beer fuck off.
Kids don't want to be kids but they'll act like kids in the process of not being kids
I like being at starbucks with all the intellectuals, brb need to call my mom to pick me up
I have colours of the rainbow in my hair, that means my take on life is superior to yours
I drink coffee in the morning because i need the energy to get through a class I tell others I sleep through
Sometimes you don't know what to feel
So you're angry
Sometimes you agree with what I say because you need something to connect to
I can say something alot of others will say but I'll earn the medal cause you like me more
It's hard not knowing your future with all this pressure and everyone needs you so you can't let it get to you or else if you fall, everything else falls.
I'm fucked and I don't care.
I don't have a heart and anyone that says I do is a cunt.
Why am I like this?
It's because you can never completely be happy
So make two lives, one will hold your work, school, etc. And the other will hold you.
You don't have to stay this way, you don't have to believe what I say either. I phrased that so the last word wouldn't rhyme.
I am a passenger, you're the driver.
○
listening to the sound of my fingers hitting the keys
It's good I won't feel this way anymore but i liked it
in retrospect I loved having all these emotions in me
but now that everything makes sense it makes me sad
but in a positive way
Teens watch movies like superbad and think
"that's it, that's the life"
but it's not, that's just a random persons life
it's entertaining but it happends in real life all the time
just they cut out the boring parts
they didn't show you everything
what about after when seth is with jules at the mall?
They don't show that awkward moment when they decide to leave
And seth hugs her and just walks away, maybe calls his mom to pick him up
No one thinks about this, they see it and figure "it's perfect"
but it's not, and you wish you were in the movie, wish you were apart of this big thing
wish you were known and people would quote you constantly
so much that you couldn't even make your own sentences
But don't make the mistake of believing everything I say
because right now you're considering it, and we all know that if these lines rhymed you'd buy it
I've had too many of those awful days where everything is wrong
and you turn everyword from another, into a knife in your back
and no matter what everything sucks, then you realize when you name everything it seems like nothing
and then that turns into something else that makes you pissed off
We're all the same in the end
We're all born, have problems, take joy in something, die
it can probably be written in some math equation, i know they'd like to have an equation for everything
I hate how every here and there my sentences get too long for my four line format and they just get bigger and bigger
is it okay to be afraid?
I just like writing notes, I wish I could just preach about life all day
Sit back and help people understand themselves, give them something to relate to so they know it's all okay
And life is not as bad as they think, but I need to do good in math to help save a life
funny, the life i'd save would probably be that of a teenager
who has too much stress from math
I have a headache and no patience to listen to 12 minute songs
but why do my favourite songs always end early?
when they start I can't wait until the awesome chorus, but then
it's almost over and there's nothing I can do, but just replay it
until I get tired of it, and then i'm a murderer of my own joy
but if I don't i'm screwed
I'm not going to dwell on those moments I wasted, because i'll waste another in the process
my life will be like a movie, it'll only show the good parts, not the awkward farewells.
It's good I won't feel this way anymore but i liked it
in retrospect I loved having all these emotions in me
but now that everything makes sense it makes me sad
but in a positive way
Teens watch movies like superbad and think
"that's it, that's the life"
but it's not, that's just a random persons life
it's entertaining but it happends in real life all the time
just they cut out the boring parts
they didn't show you everything
what about after when seth is with jules at the mall?
They don't show that awkward moment when they decide to leave
And seth hugs her and just walks away, maybe calls his mom to pick him up
No one thinks about this, they see it and figure "it's perfect"
but it's not, and you wish you were in the movie, wish you were apart of this big thing
wish you were known and people would quote you constantly
so much that you couldn't even make your own sentences
But don't make the mistake of believing everything I say
because right now you're considering it, and we all know that if these lines rhymed you'd buy it
I've had too many of those awful days where everything is wrong
and you turn everyword from another, into a knife in your back
and no matter what everything sucks, then you realize when you name everything it seems like nothing
and then that turns into something else that makes you pissed off
We're all the same in the end
We're all born, have problems, take joy in something, die
it can probably be written in some math equation, i know they'd like to have an equation for everything
I hate how every here and there my sentences get too long for my four line format and they just get bigger and bigger
is it okay to be afraid?
I just like writing notes, I wish I could just preach about life all day
Sit back and help people understand themselves, give them something to relate to so they know it's all okay
And life is not as bad as they think, but I need to do good in math to help save a life
funny, the life i'd save would probably be that of a teenager
who has too much stress from math
I have a headache and no patience to listen to 12 minute songs
but why do my favourite songs always end early?
when they start I can't wait until the awesome chorus, but then
it's almost over and there's nothing I can do, but just replay it
until I get tired of it, and then i'm a murderer of my own joy
but if I don't i'm screwed
I'm not going to dwell on those moments I wasted, because i'll waste another in the process
my life will be like a movie, it'll only show the good parts, not the awkward farewells.
Safe
To keep them in your arms
is to stop them from leaving
To stop them from leaving
is to destroy both of you
All these things that are in your mind
that are everywhere
all this stress balancing on a thread
Involuntary devices calm you down
Shot by an unarmed man
Hurt by someone who's loved
Remembering something you want to forget
Painting a white room black and cutting out light
There is no motivation for this
which ruins it
spoils it
makes it sour
Getting ahead of yourself puts you behind
Claiming yourself as something, puts you as something else
You can't always get your way, but what's wrong with getting what you want?
It's a life goal, even if it's at others expenses.
I'm young, healthy, and sensitive.
All sound good together.
But to the successful business man, donald trump, he says
"how do I make money off this?"
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
Your life isn't measured in how much money you have
And just because I can't understand the words in your music, doesn't mean you're cool.
Just because you get high, doesn't mean you're better or worse than me.
Stop twisting my arm because I let you.
You don't own these seconds of my life.
You can't leave me here
And then come whenever it's good for you.
And you know that's what is happening,
I'm nice, I let it happen, it's my fault too.
Just because you have more money,
doesn't mean you have less problems.
You're holding us back
and making us feel bad for it
You'll change my words
so you can have the world on your side
I was going to write
"I hate the ones who only seek money with disregard to others"
such as those on cbc's 'dragon's den'
But I feel bad, the asshole is a hot smelly place, I wouldn't want my head in mine 24/7.
I'm a jerk. Sorry.
is to stop them from leaving
To stop them from leaving
is to destroy both of you
All these things that are in your mind
that are everywhere
all this stress balancing on a thread
Involuntary devices calm you down
Shot by an unarmed man
Hurt by someone who's loved
Remembering something you want to forget
Painting a white room black and cutting out light
There is no motivation for this
which ruins it
spoils it
makes it sour
Getting ahead of yourself puts you behind
Claiming yourself as something, puts you as something else
You can't always get your way, but what's wrong with getting what you want?
It's a life goal, even if it's at others expenses.
I'm young, healthy, and sensitive.
All sound good together.
But to the successful business man, donald trump, he says
"how do I make money off this?"
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
The world isn't about fucking money
Your life isn't measured in how much money you have
And just because I can't understand the words in your music, doesn't mean you're cool.
Just because you get high, doesn't mean you're better or worse than me.
Stop twisting my arm because I let you.
You don't own these seconds of my life.
You can't leave me here
And then come whenever it's good for you.
And you know that's what is happening,
I'm nice, I let it happen, it's my fault too.
Just because you have more money,
doesn't mean you have less problems.
You're holding us back
and making us feel bad for it
You'll change my words
so you can have the world on your side
I was going to write
"I hate the ones who only seek money with disregard to others"
such as those on cbc's 'dragon's den'
But I feel bad, the asshole is a hot smelly place, I wouldn't want my head in mine 24/7.
I'm a jerk. Sorry.
Digital Air
I was talking to Rahul today about why my phone takes a while to receive text messages, and i was thinking maybe they're just floating around us. Think about it, where do the text messages go? Or any other wireless spawns.
There's probably a logical and satisfying answer for this but i don't want to know it. I'm having fun thinking about it the way I am.
Honestly, they have to be somewhere right? So shouldn't they be floating around us? Are we breathing in these wireless signals? Do they seep through our pours? Do they make the air thicker or harder to breathe?
We're constantly bathing in technology, how amazing is that?
Rahul says you can't breathe in the wireless signals and shit, and it's probably true but I still don't care. Why spoil my fun with fact?
There's probably a logical and satisfying answer for this but i don't want to know it. I'm having fun thinking about it the way I am.
Honestly, they have to be somewhere right? So shouldn't they be floating around us? Are we breathing in these wireless signals? Do they seep through our pours? Do they make the air thicker or harder to breathe?
We're constantly bathing in technology, how amazing is that?
Rahul says you can't breathe in the wireless signals and shit, and it's probably true but I still don't care. Why spoil my fun with fact?
Lame lines
Some of these are gay, so look for the meaning.
You are what you think you are so think you're something useful.
People only know what you tell them.
No matter how good of friends you are, there's competition.
Everyone conforms.
You will die and so will your friends and family.
The rich can be poor.
One death is too many.
Ignorance is the bully who gets beat by his parents, sounds fair? It isn't, help the bully out.
Love is hard to find, hard is a level of difficulty, impossible is not a difficulty.
We were all in a womb at once, we will all be dead at a time, so when you're headed in the same direction as a neighbour don't hesitate to give directions.
Learn how to make U turns, respect is a two way street.
It's a sick world we live in, so find a fucking cure
You are what you think you are so think you're something useful.
People only know what you tell them.
No matter how good of friends you are, there's competition.
Everyone conforms.
You will die and so will your friends and family.
The rich can be poor.
One death is too many.
Ignorance is the bully who gets beat by his parents, sounds fair? It isn't, help the bully out.
Love is hard to find, hard is a level of difficulty, impossible is not a difficulty.
We were all in a womb at once, we will all be dead at a time, so when you're headed in the same direction as a neighbour don't hesitate to give directions.
Learn how to make U turns, respect is a two way street.
It's a sick world we live in, so find a fucking cure
123456789
Welcome to my note, I feel I've been impolite as to not recognize you yet in any of my notes, with the possible exception of lovelist.
I'm writing this note as a time waster, it is a variable that helps ruin my life but keep me alive and sane, which I usually seem to be neither of. It's funny, i'm peer pressured into feeling alive by everyone.
I need to do math now, and regardless of the topic of this note, or the impact it has on you or the world, I will remain absent of math completion and understanding.
I know you all feel this way, why can't we just not work and have fun? It's because bad people, you can't have equality when someone wears a name brand shirt to put themselves above another, thus you can't all work together, because someone will always have to remain on a greater level. People are tools, yet I suppose i'm just as bad because I want an easy way out as well.
It's so hard to get an easy life
Should I make a personal attack at Mr.Sosa's the good life shirt? I probably should but I won't. I'm a dick sometimes.
Ah, common sense in society, where are you? If you were here, i'd have a good night sleep. And now you're gone I've lost you. Thanks again.
People, question the fucking answer don't categorize yourselves.
I'm writing this note as a time waster, it is a variable that helps ruin my life but keep me alive and sane, which I usually seem to be neither of. It's funny, i'm peer pressured into feeling alive by everyone.
I need to do math now, and regardless of the topic of this note, or the impact it has on you or the world, I will remain absent of math completion and understanding.
I know you all feel this way, why can't we just not work and have fun? It's because bad people, you can't have equality when someone wears a name brand shirt to put themselves above another, thus you can't all work together, because someone will always have to remain on a greater level. People are tools, yet I suppose i'm just as bad because I want an easy way out as well.
It's so hard to get an easy life
Should I make a personal attack at Mr.Sosa's the good life shirt? I probably should but I won't. I'm a dick sometimes.
Ah, common sense in society, where are you? If you were here, i'd have a good night sleep. And now you're gone I've lost you. Thanks again.
People, question the fucking answer don't categorize yourselves.
This ones off
Another repeating sound in my ear
Something I made to destroy me
fucking alarm clocks
I'd much rather lay half dead
And have the time of my life inside my head
Even if it's not real
I'd die for that fake feel
The one where I have no stress
And my entire life is not a test
We would all live on and on
Until dawn
when I have to wake up for gay ass canadian tire faggotry
yeah fuck this shit
Something I made to destroy me
fucking alarm clocks
I'd much rather lay half dead
And have the time of my life inside my head
Even if it's not real
I'd die for that fake feel
The one where I have no stress
And my entire life is not a test
We would all live on and on
Until dawn
when I have to wake up for gay ass canadian tire faggotry
yeah fuck this shit
Coyote
I may have just wrote the best thing i've ever written
but i messed up
and now it's gone
and it will always be gone
i cannot recreate it for you
i wish i could show you what it was
it made me feel good
but it's gone now
as everything will be one day
me you the sun the sky the ground
but all those things are already gone to me already
sometimes at least
•
I have scars
they remind me of things that hurt me
the scars then hurt me
i've learned
but i'm still tempted to pick the scars
it is then i'm free
I have a favourite scar
this particular scar is very special to me
I would not be myself without this scar
I always pick this scar
it will always be with me now
I will never forget with this scar
this scar drives me crazy
it's forces me to do things i hate
I will never truly understand this scar
why it is where it is and what it's doing there
how it could of been prevented, or why did i have to pick it
I'll never know the answers
or maybe I will
none the less, this scar will always be my favourite
because this scar has the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen
•
A wild coyote is my friend
a wild coyote will turn against me
a wild coyote swears to protect
a wild coyote breathes death
I am trapped under the ocean
You are locked above the sky
•
My chest is tight
you're hurting me
everything we are
everything we were
everything we could have been
has left us
as time ages
we fade
can you hear the echos?
we used to make them
Your palm sweating in mine
this is uncomfortable
but a memory
something to keep
That was pretty gay
•
How long until you all tell me what i'm doing wrong
I see it in your eyes
but it's not good enough to tell me
you have to torture me
break my fall
waste it all
my mistake
these will keep me alive
feeding me something already chewed
this is all shit
nothing matters
I can write for years and years
using new words
saying clever things
it's all the same
you can only live to evolve
me telling you this means nothing
then again you know more than me
but you still won't tell me your secrets
•
why is fucking the most important thing in life?
it's sad
tits won't save the world [not sexist, but fuck you anyways]
wow wasn't that last bit OFF THE HOOK!?
go to bed, I don't care what time it is
but i messed up
and now it's gone
and it will always be gone
i cannot recreate it for you
i wish i could show you what it was
it made me feel good
but it's gone now
as everything will be one day
me you the sun the sky the ground
but all those things are already gone to me already
sometimes at least
•
I have scars
they remind me of things that hurt me
the scars then hurt me
i've learned
but i'm still tempted to pick the scars
it is then i'm free
I have a favourite scar
this particular scar is very special to me
I would not be myself without this scar
I always pick this scar
it will always be with me now
I will never forget with this scar
this scar drives me crazy
it's forces me to do things i hate
I will never truly understand this scar
why it is where it is and what it's doing there
how it could of been prevented, or why did i have to pick it
I'll never know the answers
or maybe I will
none the less, this scar will always be my favourite
because this scar has the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen
•
A wild coyote is my friend
a wild coyote will turn against me
a wild coyote swears to protect
a wild coyote breathes death
I am trapped under the ocean
You are locked above the sky
•
My chest is tight
you're hurting me
everything we are
everything we were
everything we could have been
has left us
as time ages
we fade
can you hear the echos?
we used to make them
this is uncomfortable
but a memory
something to keep
That was pretty gay
•
How long until you all tell me what i'm doing wrong
I see it in your eyes
but it's not good enough to tell me
you have to torture me
break my fall
waste it all
my mistake
these will keep me alive
feeding me something already chewed
this is all shit
nothing matters
I can write for years and years
using new words
saying clever things
it's all the same
you can only live to evolve
me telling you this means nothing
then again you know more than me
but you still won't tell me your secrets
•
why is fucking the most important thing in life?
it's sad
tits won't save the world [not sexist, but fuck you anyways]
wow wasn't that last bit OFF THE HOOK!?
go to bed, I don't care what time it is
Without Eyes
Watch
Right now i am building a wall around me
a wall so tall you'll never see me
a wall so thick you'll never hear me
Wouldn't it be easier to build a wall around you?
No because you'd fight back, i don't want that
I will leave you alone
Behind this wall I will age like the caterpillar
I will break down this wall and you will not know me
My face will be aged, my voice will be bitter
It will be worth it, to seperate from you
I don't know how long i will have to stay enclosed in these walls
Sometimes you have to sacrifice to succeed
I will not only sacrifice myself
but all of you
will die
for me
and my
cause
only
The light will not reach behind this wall
though tormented seeds of nature shall grow
no emotion will pass through the wall
the wall will destroy without having to actually do so
How innocent of the wall
I am my own prisoner
I am my own murderer
The wall is my weapon
I will crawl out one day
different
how you'll hate what i've become
how you'll hate what i've become
Right now i am building a wall around me
a wall so tall you'll never see me
a wall so thick you'll never hear me
Wouldn't it be easier to build a wall around you?
No because you'd fight back, i don't want that
I will leave you alone
Behind this wall I will age like the caterpillar
I will break down this wall and you will not know me
My face will be aged, my voice will be bitter
It will be worth it, to seperate from you
I don't know how long i will have to stay enclosed in these walls
Sometimes you have to sacrifice to succeed
I will not only sacrifice myself
but all of you
will die
for me
and my
cause
only
The light will not reach behind this wall
though tormented seeds of nature shall grow
no emotion will pass through the wall
the wall will destroy without having to actually do so
How innocent of the wall
I am my own prisoner
I am my own murderer
The wall is my weapon
I will crawl out one day
different
how you'll hate what i've become
how you'll hate what i've become
meh
Does everyone have to be something?
Do decisions have to be made?
Should everything be defined?
If you're not happy are you the absence which is sad?
If not sad then are you something more in depth of sadness?
Does that mean you're even so more depressed because the opposite of which you are is now greater?
If you can never be happy are you doomed to be sad?
Or are you simply less happy?
What makes you happy?
Do you notice when it's not there?
Do you have time to value it?
Or are you too good for that?
Is there someone hurting?
Can you help them?
Although easier, is it more satisfying to do nothing?
Can you revive someone?
Can I help you?
Can I hurt you?
It's funny, everyone labels everything, whether more or less important.
Can this work?
What about equality?
Is women's equality more important than racial equality?
If we're all to be equal how can one's idea of equality be different then anothers?
No one can change for you
Do decisions have to be made?
Should everything be defined?
If you're not happy are you the absence which is sad?
If not sad then are you something more in depth of sadness?
Does that mean you're even so more depressed because the opposite of which you are is now greater?
If you can never be happy are you doomed to be sad?
Or are you simply less happy?
What makes you happy?
Do you notice when it's not there?
Do you have time to value it?
Or are you too good for that?
Is there someone hurting?
Can you help them?
Although easier, is it more satisfying to do nothing?
Can you revive someone?
Can I help you?
Can I hurt you?
It's funny, everyone labels everything, whether more or less important.
Can this work?
What about equality?
Is women's equality more important than racial equality?
If we're all to be equal how can one's idea of equality be different then anothers?
No one can change for you
Body and mind vs. Time and Death
It turns out
we all have the same days
we all remember when life was easy
waking up at 10 seeing who was up to bike to the store
it was a mission back then
now we have cars
and we go because we need something, alone
we don't do it for the trip itself
or the mission it is
we just do it
like robots
we all miss the past, so bad we we miss the future
keeping our innocence is impossible
somehow
we just can't hold on to anything
there is no such thing as friction in life
you can't wake up to the same thing forever
both for good and bad reasons
Good because you'd get bored
Bad, because you miss it
it's that bit that becomes a regular
what will you do
when that store you always used to go to with friends
goes out of business
find a new store?
try to make what you had because you were to stupid to charish it
it hurts
so much
but we all live
and we all die
and it's funny
we often think it the other way around
thinkin' we die first
life starts with the worst
then it's gets less ugly and good
but it turns out it's less understood
and everything you've worked for was wrong
and you've wanted this all for so long
like lights too bright for your eyes
like the girl you sold all your lies
nothings making sense anymore
you can never settle, escape war
there's always something hunting you down
and no matter how loud you scream, you don't sound
you just need some help, just some advice
an exit, good marks, a job, something nice
you had a long life don't want to do it twice
Life's about freedom? True but freedom has a price
How Ironic
sounds of supersonic
beating into your head
but making your heart dead
long lost mind
blazing through time
under the weight of my soul
cause of you I can't be whole
is it all over now? is this life?
defeated by my wrists kissing a knife?
Some say it's the small things that matter
But i never saw their heart shatter
we all have the same days
we all remember when life was easy
waking up at 10 seeing who was up to bike to the store
it was a mission back then
now we have cars
and we go because we need something, alone
we don't do it for the trip itself
or the mission it is
we just do it
like robots
we all miss the past, so bad we we miss the future
keeping our innocence is impossible
somehow
we just can't hold on to anything
there is no such thing as friction in life
you can't wake up to the same thing forever
both for good and bad reasons
Good because you'd get bored
Bad, because you miss it
it's that bit that becomes a regular
what will you do
when that store you always used to go to with friends
goes out of business
find a new store?
try to make what you had because you were to stupid to charish it
it hurts
so much
but we all live
and we all die
and it's funny
we often think it the other way around
thinkin' we die first
life starts with the worst
then it's gets less ugly and good
but it turns out it's less understood
and everything you've worked for was wrong
and you've wanted this all for so long
like lights too bright for your eyes
like the girl you sold all your lies
nothings making sense anymore
you can never settle, escape war
there's always something hunting you down
and no matter how loud you scream, you don't sound
you just need some help, just some advice
an exit, good marks, a job, something nice
you had a long life don't want to do it twice
Life's about freedom? True but freedom has a price
How Ironic
sounds of supersonic
beating into your head
but making your heart dead
long lost mind
blazing through time
under the weight of my soul
cause of you I can't be whole
is it all over now? is this life?
defeated by my wrists kissing a knife?
Some say it's the small things that matter
But i never saw their heart shatter
curse
You're telling all your friends
turning me into the bad guy
I just wanted something innocent
and now I've gone too far
I alarmed and scared you
made you a victim
i've ruined your life
I will go away
turning me into the bad guy
I just wanted something innocent
and now I've gone too far
I alarmed and scared you
made you a victim
i've ruined your life
I will go away
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
sucks
It's hard thinking straight when both roads are parallel
I'm two people
My mind is in two
it hurts
I want to be sensitive always, but then there's no masculinity
and i can't keep up that way
but i certainly cannot keep this up
I don't want to have to be insane or repulsive
I just want to relax my mind
but i can't
everyone expects something
but i'm not popular
so that's pretty cool
I'm two people
My mind is in two
it hurts
I want to be sensitive always, but then there's no masculinity
and i can't keep up that way
but i certainly cannot keep this up
I don't want to have to be insane or repulsive
I just want to relax my mind
but i can't
everyone expects something
but i'm not popular
so that's pretty cool
Embed sin into soul
Recycle your mind
Remind yourself who you are
I'm ready to feel the consequences for what i've done
I've destroyed my life, and robbed the young
Tempted you with such songs that have never been sung
Told you i'd take those heavy words off your tongue
I made you cold when you were warm
I sent you out before the storm
I hid you away from sunlight
I killed your white knight
It's hard always being the one whos wrong
Accepting all bets, when you're going to lose
Everyone's watching, and you can't choose
It's hard always being the one whos wrong
Remind yourself who you are
I'm ready to feel the consequences for what i've done
I've destroyed my life, and robbed the young
Tempted you with such songs that have never been sung
Told you i'd take those heavy words off your tongue
I made you cold when you were warm
I sent you out before the storm
I hid you away from sunlight
I killed your white knight
It's hard always being the one whos wrong
Accepting all bets, when you're going to lose
Everyone's watching, and you can't choose
It's hard always being the one whos wrong
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Feeling our hearts beating as one was a stupid dream
Day and night are the same thing to me.
My life is just passing me by.
I hope there is no Heaven or Hell and that I just die.
Or else I have an eternity of torture infront of me.
While people are out there trying to take money from others
I am here sitting in my room writing about my life instead of living it
But you can't just live when you decide to
You need the opportunity
But what it comes down to is we are just human and evil
If we have everything we'll want more
We like to hate eachother and encourage violence
We dress ways to imply we're better than others
I know alot of you are like me
And I know alot care for me
But i'm finally experiencing that whole
"Who is your real friend" episode
And I think I have a pretty good grasp on it
it's not who comments my wall on facebook
or comments my notes or pics
or whatever
If you just talk to me
and know my name
and want to know me
then you are my friend
If you just use me to get good marks
or just to help you with your life problems
then tell me you love me
and walk away forever until YOU have a problem
You're not my friend
.
It doesn't matter what you do in the end sometimes
Like who you want hate who you will
Overall it's up to you
Vintage realtionships aren't necessarily the best
Eventually every relationship is vintage then what?
How am I supposed to win
Even though I'm smart I lose
Reward me with pain for my generosity
.
My life is just passing me by.
I hope there is no Heaven or Hell and that I just die.
Or else I have an eternity of torture infront of me.
While people are out there trying to take money from others
I am here sitting in my room writing about my life instead of living it
But you can't just live when you decide to
You need the opportunity
But what it comes down to is we are just human and evil
If we have everything we'll want more
We like to hate eachother and encourage violence
We dress ways to imply we're better than others
I know alot of you are like me
And I know alot care for me
But i'm finally experiencing that whole
"Who is your real friend" episode
And I think I have a pretty good grasp on it
it's not who comments my wall on facebook
or comments my notes or pics
or whatever
If you just talk to me
and know my name
and want to know me
then you are my friend
If you just use me to get good marks
or just to help you with your life problems
then tell me you love me
and walk away forever until YOU have a problem
You're not my friend
.
It doesn't matter what you do in the end sometimes
Like who you want hate who you will
Overall it's up to you
Vintage realtionships aren't necessarily the best
Eventually every relationship is vintage then what?
How am I supposed to win
Even though I'm smart I lose
Reward me with pain for my generosity
.
She's dead alright
This dead music booming
waves in and out
controlling the beat of my heart
these quick lights
here these people are full of life
all the time
there is no day
only night
where the soul is free
always
Nothing here is real
but it's okay
I can live with fake
I can live with only dreams
Don't follow me into this one
You'll get hurt
This skin needs to be cut open
there's too much blood inside
let some nice cool air go through the overheated body
watch the steam arise
[not done, i'm tired, i'll finish later]
..
[continuing]
Like the trotting of a horse
or the awkward presence of a stranger
you can always recognize it
Remind yourself of the feeling of being in a dark room
after the end of a movie
you sit there
can't see anything
just sit
feel it
live it
it's in you
the tv turns to fuzz
you can feel the only light off the tv hitting your face
you wish your favourite sad song was playing
i'm a hyena laughing at myself
I'm water evaporating infront of you
oh and you put me in that strange mood
where everything is slow motion
and the guitars become less stringy
the heartbeat follows the drums
I breathe in the bass
how I love being in the city this late
to think people are resting now
why can't everyone be here
why can't we all be in unison
I'll have another drink
No it's alright, i'm not a smoker
The colours of this room turn me on
and I can feel everything
I'm floating in everything around me
the atmosphere is absorbed through my pours
the strobe light is no longer amusing
I'm getting high of everyone and thing in this room
you're all my ecstacy
my heart stops as I eye you
the horror, the paranoid thoughts
my mind implodes
inside my head is only darkness and fear
Don't see me, i'm not really noticable anyways
i'll leave what ineed want likelove to be safe
but before i do just one glance
after all you seem to be the reason i remain
oh how cute you are
your dancing is wearing you down
-the beat stops-
all this time
it was you I wanted
all those late nights
were my body slept but my mind stayed awake thinking of you
replaying the same moments of interactions between us
smiling in my sleep
a feeling I can only feel in my dreams surrounds me
and I wake without it, and where it isn't there is only pain and regret
I've wanted you for a very long time
I've made myself sick over this
mentally poisoned myself
and now there you are
and here I am
both aware of eachother
your hair covering your face
you look silly
i don't want to look silly
-the beat resumes-
Sweat falling from your face
the outfit of your choice become wrinkled and less valued
and you come to me
in this heat
in this time
with all this commotion
and knowing how i feel
you get me to dance
i lied, i wanted to look silly
soon the clothes of my choice become less valued too
in no time both me sweat and yours
as sour as they are
harmonize a rhythm
Both of us
dancing
It's the inevitable end that strikes me halfway through
All the sudden the man in charge of controlling our emotional movements tells us he will no longer control us
I'm sad and you are too
Maybe if we go back to one of spaces where we pretend to live because something is watching us, then maybe we can continue this flow
probably not
the car ride between spots would absolutely kill who we think we are
Maybe we are who we think we are an we're hiding from who we know we are, thus the situation has been reversed
That makes this fiction alot more of a reality
All this happens in my mind while you desperately search for a combination of notes and rhythms on the radio that could keep this alive
But then we crash and die
and lay dead, together, forever
our bodies cold, and there just as I say I love you, after all the things that have happened the song that made you dance with me comes on
you smile
waves in and out
controlling the beat of my heart
these quick lights
here these people are full of life
all the time
there is no day
only night
where the soul is free
always
Nothing here is real
but it's okay
I can live with fake
I can live with only dreams
Don't follow me into this one
You'll get hurt
This skin needs to be cut open
there's too much blood inside
let some nice cool air go through the overheated body
watch the steam arise
[not done, i'm tired, i'll finish later]
..
[continuing]
Like the trotting of a horse
or the awkward presence of a stranger
you can always recognize it
Remind yourself of the feeling of being in a dark room
after the end of a movie
you sit there
can't see anything
just sit
feel it
live it
it's in you
the tv turns to fuzz
you can feel the only light off the tv hitting your face
you wish your favourite sad song was playing
i'm a hyena laughing at myself
I'm water evaporating infront of you
oh and you put me in that strange mood
where everything is slow motion
and the guitars become less stringy
the heartbeat follows the drums
I breathe in the bass
how I love being in the city this late
to think people are resting now
why can't everyone be here
why can't we all be in unison
I'll have another drink
No it's alright, i'm not a smoker
The colours of this room turn me on
and I can feel everything
I'm floating in everything around me
the atmosphere is absorbed through my pours
the strobe light is no longer amusing
I'm getting high of everyone and thing in this room
you're all my ecstacy
my heart stops as I eye you
the horror, the paranoid thoughts
my mind implodes
inside my head is only darkness and fear
Don't see me, i'm not really noticable anyways
i'll leave what i
but before i do just one glance
after all you seem to be the reason i remain
oh how cute you are
your dancing is wearing you down
-the beat stops-
all this time
it was you I wanted
all those late nights
were my body slept but my mind stayed awake thinking of you
replaying the same moments of interactions between us
smiling in my sleep
a feeling I can only feel in my dreams surrounds me
and I wake without it, and where it isn't there is only pain and regret
I've wanted you for a very long time
I've made myself sick over this
mentally poisoned myself
and now there you are
and here I am
both aware of eachother
your hair covering your face
you look silly
i don't want to look silly
-the beat resumes-
Sweat falling from your face
the outfit of your choice become wrinkled and less valued
and you come to me
in this heat
in this time
with all this commotion
and knowing how i feel
you get me to dance
i lied, i wanted to look silly
soon the clothes of my choice become less valued too
in no time both me sweat and yours
as sour as they are
harmonize a rhythm
Both of us
dancing
It's the inevitable end that strikes me halfway through
All the sudden the man in charge of controlling our emotional movements tells us he will no longer control us
I'm sad and you are too
Maybe if we go back to one of spaces where we pretend to live because something is watching us, then maybe we can continue this flow
probably not
the car ride between spots would absolutely kill who we think we are
Maybe we are who we think we are an we're hiding from who we know we are, thus the situation has been reversed
That makes this fiction alot more of a reality
All this happens in my mind while you desperately search for a combination of notes and rhythms on the radio that could keep this alive
But then we crash and die
and lay dead, together, forever
our bodies cold, and there just as I say I love you, after all the things that have happened the song that made you dance with me comes on
you smile
Pezz
my heart exlpodes
from every perspective
every angle
too many memories, too many strong feelings
how it used to be, how it is
how it won't be, how it never was
and in every direction imaginable
my blood makes a beautiful painting
something almost alive
connects to you
talks to you
it's not quite dead
why is it impossible
full of colours never seen before
in shapes that make and contradict sense
something so full and satisfying you can't even imitate it
your head hurts in attempt to understand what it is
the deep emotional colours on a white wall
what was clean is still clean, just in a different way
there doesn't always have to be one way
this image finds time and stops it
it helps us all understand
it creates failure by comparision
yet as beautiful as it is
it leaves me heartless
from every perspective
every angle
too many memories, too many strong feelings
how it used to be, how it is
how it won't be, how it never was
and in every direction imaginable
my blood makes a beautiful painting
something almost alive
connects to you
talks to you
it's not quite dead
why is it impossible
full of colours never seen before
in shapes that make and contradict sense
something so full and satisfying you can't even imitate it
your head hurts in attempt to understand what it is
the deep emotional colours on a white wall
what was clean is still clean, just in a different way
there doesn't always have to be one way
this image finds time and stops it
it helps us all understand
it creates failure by comparision
yet as beautiful as it is
it leaves me heartless
Hate list
Saturday, December 30, 2006
The Hate list 1st edition (updated Sept.8th)
I'm always saying "I fucking hate this" well here's my list, maybe doesn't have everything and you'll probably find some hypocritism in it but this is it.
Teenagers
-Trends they so easily follow
-How predictable they are
-How badass they think they are
-How blind they are, they think that if they all dress the same, act the same, listen to the same music, complain about the same shit, and deny they're clones that they will be individuals.
-"No one knows the pain I go through, life is too hard, my parents shower me with gifts and anything i request I get but they still don't love me and they fight so much" Shut the hell up you spoiled brat, go live in a third world country to know pain, then again you stupid emo piece of shit, they probably don't have enough mascara. (I took the masacara thing from stfne)
-On myspace when their name is something that's supposed to be catchy. ie. mine would be something like Dynamite Derek
-When it's obvious that someone is a scene kid because of their iPod their myspace account, they take pictures of themselves 24/7 and post it on the internet, when they want someone to comment their space, when they wear Poka-dots & Stripes, think they're hardcore, list everyband they know on myspace under music, etc. and they deny it if you call them scene.
Media
Music
- Pop music. Fucking always comes no matter what and trend kids that think they're hardcore underground end up listening to this shit then denying it.
- commercial music, (not music in commercials) Commercial Rap fucking sucks, Commercial Rock fucking sucks, Country in general usual sucks.
Television
- MTV IS THE WORST FUCKING CHANNEL. All those reality shows about stupid young adults living in the same house with their gay fucking glasses, and gay music and gay lifestyles, or "Date my mom" who the fuck comes up with this shit? "Room Raiders" gayest shit ever. I'm not even going to talk about that Laguna Beach show or whatever it's called. I thought MTV stood for MUSIC television, where's the music? Besides those shitty ballads playing while some girl is crying over a guy who was never interested in her.
- the media, they always focus on the bad things.
Celebrities
-Dude I seriously hate Paris Hilton, she's an ugly douche bag who thinks she owns the world. She so fucking ugly, I'm not the type to discriminate like that, but she thinks she's the hottest shit on the earth. It bothers me, she was born into a rich Family with tons of shit and if you see an interview with her she'll say "Life's so hard for me!!"
-I like how they act so great like they're emperors and we're ants under their foot, and then the tables turn and no one cares about them anymore.
Cultures/Races
-Blacks/Whites/Hispanics/Orientals/Brown people you name it, there's way too many stereotypes out there. I like people for who they are, but now everywhere there are people that call you racist for everything, or think they're really dangerous. Dude, stfu. A generation or two struggled to make Canada home and survive, and you treat this life like shit. You may have baggy pants, a bandana, a piece of your left eyebrow shaved, or a shirt that three people you're body type could fit into, but you're still an ignorant fuck. No one gives a shit if you're GANGSTAR.
General
-Shitty emo bands that sing about the same thing and have long names for songs.
-People that claim they're hardcore or think they're "the shit" but there's millions just like them across the world, and they're exactly the same. [You're not hardcore if you beg your parents for a cellphone]
-People that don't respect The Ramones, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, or Black Sabbath. (no not just ozzy, if you think black sabbath was just all about ozzy blow your brains out.)
-New Simpons episodes suck shit badly
-People that try to act like they're everyones hero and we all want them around. I'm not trying to alienate or ignore anyone but if you think you're better then me you can gtfo. hahaha.
-POSERS!!!! At the Rancid concert there were too many fucking 13 year old poser kids, I wanted to fucking stomp on their face with David's steel toe boots.
For now this is it. I'll be back.
Update jan.17th
-Fucking cheap people. "You gotta gimme something if I let you borrow my pen" shut the fuck up you stupid asswipe i should fucking punch you in the face you low life piece of shit.
-Fat people. It may sound harsh but they go onto television and say how painful life is because they're fat, well here's a hint tubby, LOOSE SOME FUCKING POUNDS. Unless they work out and still remain fat because their body is just like that, it's okay, but if you stuff your fucking face and say "why me? why am I so fat?" you should be fucking starved. (that wasn't really a creative torture method, but I figure it'll hurt fat people the most)
-That convience store across the street.
I'll be back.
Update Jan.26th
-I fucking hate people who think we care about their godamn opinion. I do this alot, just enforce my opinion and I'd rather I didn't but there are people that are alot more stubborn then me. (ie. the church, people that oppose the church, etc.)
-When someone commits suicide all these mothers with nothing better to do say "HOW SELFISH CAN THEY BE, THEY LEFT ME, THEY MADE ME SAD" suck my dick. The person that commited suicide could have been going through hell or worse and you want them to continue living? And you call them selfish.
-Emotionless people are fucking fags. I say this out of jealousy mostly because I find it hard not to have emotions, as you can see I hate many things.
-"Individuals"
I fear this world is doomed Until next time.
Update Feb.14th(valentines day)
-Worst fucking day of my life. I hate Valentines day, I fucking hate it. I hate R______. If you can't fill in the blanks you probably don't know me that well.
Update March.3rd
- I fucking hate when I waste days. I really wanted to go out and do something tonight but no one is home. Everyone always fucking goes somewhere without me. I fucking hate this shit. Another day wasted, another night with my head in the oven.
Update March.30th
Alright I only have a couple things for this update.
-I fucking hate like 27 year old girls who try to be models on myspace. I don't care if you have a nice chest, coloured hair, tight jeans, whatever, stop acting like your the shit and everyone wants you on their list. I'm 100% sure that like 95% of myspace models (whores is a better term) don't care about people, and just want to get to the top.
-I hate when I'm walking into school and I see a girl who tries to look really sophisticated just because she has a scarf, eye liner, a fancy fall jacket, and a tim hortons coffee. Like fuck! You're not working for some high and mighty magazine, you stand up for the national anthem in the morning like the rest of us, what makes you so fucking special? cuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnntttttttttttttttt
-people that use Josh's death as a mini-publicity stunt. Like *cough* told me, like 30 people raided Josh's room taking what they could, like fuck! Do you even care that he'sgone? It's not some sort of grab all you can game, respect him you fucking scum cunts. And this is one message to a girl who I saw at the funeral...You are a not a person, you are not valued, you are non-existent. You'd sell your friends away in a second for the right price. You leech what you can from others and when they're gone you show no respect and pretend you're above them all. You compare your clothes and try to look really cool at a funeral with your nice shades and your "oddly" coloured hair, well that is a terrible thing to do. You belive you are our godess, and that we need you, life wouldn't be life without you. You're wrong, you have never been a person and you change to "be cool" all the time. If I mentioned your name you'd use this to your advantage, you'd say "I never cared about anything, I was such a punk, this is what I did at a funeral (insert my note)" You've come here and you have ruined a part of my life. There's a part of me you have killed. I hope my words each weigh a thousand pounds so that you are completely crushed by them. You are souless.
Update Arpril.11th
-Roxanne
-Fucking nerds.....one girl in my math class is getting a 98%. It's a good thing for her but it pisses me off.
-(relevant to the previous hate point) when people say "You can't hate me for getting a 98%".... uh...yeah I can? Fuck off, I can hate you for whatever reason I want, not everyone has to like you, cunt.
Update May.7th
-Sometimes the fact that I am still alive.
-Wasting my life, it's happening and knowing I can’t stop it is annoying.
-People who can't take jokes but can dish it out all they want.
-People that are heartless. Nothing gets through to them no matter how hard you try, and give, it's worthless.
-People that are really smart and try to say they stupid like most kids say today "I'm slow!!" Then why the fuck are you getting accepted to every fucking university.
-People that try to give others this image of themselves. Like, they will call themselves crazy and make sure everyone calls them crazy.
-Nicknames, gayest shit ever. What the fuck? are we in GI Joe? For Fuck Sakes can't you see how gay you are. Bunny is the only person allowed to have one.
Update Aug.7th
-When i'm mad and I don't know why.
-FUCKING NERDS
-Horny kids. Yeah Masturbation is fine but don't come up to me and say "I want to fuck her sooooooooo bad, I would give anything to __________ her" etc. We've all met someone like that, I just want to kick the shit out of them. I couldn't care less about your sexual needs.
-People who have to know everyone. Like, everyone is not enough? Why do you need to know everyone? Are you planning some sort of high time orgy record? Can you talk to 289154 people at the same time? STOP FUCKING TRYING TO BE EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE YOU ATTENTION WHORE.
-There's something I hate but I can't describe it, so I hate that too.
-The fact that I take everything for granted, so I can never say "nothing good happends to me"
-I've wanted to put "I want to die" in my msn name or facebook thing for a while but everyone would say "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME" it's just a feeling dude don't break my balls...then again probably no one would comment.
- I got 100% in science, no university will accept me with a mark that low!!
I need to overdose on something or get hit by a car.
Update Sept.8th
-First off, Asians. it may sound mean, well fuck you I want it to be mean, it's my goddamn list. Have you seen graffiti on facebook? Holy fucking shit fucks, the asians dominate that shit, then they have all their anime shit, little asian cliques, fucking everything. Well almost everything, I'm goddamn happy I have a bigger dick then them. Which almost makes me wonder, is being asian a sacrifice? Think about it, you're good at everything, but you have a small penis. I'm looking at you luis.
- People that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES", dude, stfu. Most likely all you do is sit home and watch the oc and say "That is exactly how my life is!!!!" so you assume you can't trust anyone because someone, somewhere has been betrayed. I'm not saying EVERYONE is just wanting to sound important, just most people that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES" If you really need words to describe it then "we trusted you - transplants" there you go, perfect for describing hate to someone who betrayed you.
- lol !!!!1!11oneoneone <- was never funny, and never will be. It's not even funny when you make fun of people that do it. Just, don't touch it. - "You ask for the time they tell you how to build a clock", Dylan could not of said it better. I hate when people always have to be better then you, or need more sympathy. "ah, I threw my back out the other day" "MY BACK HURTS ALL THE TIME, MY LIFE IS WORST" "Oh sorry man, on another note I got a new guitar- - -" "I HAVE 174601 GUITARS, MY LIFE IS BETTER" It's very, very irritating. -People that only talk about themselves, I know i tend to but I usually end up trying to talk about the other person. But fuck people that ONLY tell you stories about them or their parents or their friends, or anything just annoys me. -Glasses, the ones that almost every girl I know has. Those big fucking round glasses that are shapped like sonic the hedgehog's eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about" Yes you do, woman! -Why are girls and boys becoming so trendy, so much younger now a'days. Grade 5's don't need cell phones. Hell I only got mine in grade 10. Although plenty of you are saying "cuz u hav no freinds" I'm sure almost every girl this age doesn't need to use their phones as much as they do. -omg, i'm wasted <-I hate you. -I can't stress how much I hate when fags say "I'm cheesed" you're all retarded. Cheese = food, not emotion. -Possibly the thing I hate most, socks with holes. We're only making plans for Nigel, yo. Update Nov.22nd -Rock and Roll, fucking hate it so goddamn much. I hate the whole 20 minute gay jazz solo, I hate the whole "Were a big gay giant rock family!!" -Lenny Kravitz -The blues, I'm more or less still on my first point, I hate the gay music when it's like 12 bar blues and you got some gay singer saying "Rock and Roll for life, Can't take anymore of the bitch" and everyone yells bitch at the same time, and parents say "Oh gosh darn, I guess sometimes kids just have to have fun but only this time" FUCK YOU ALL YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOOT! -People that need to know every Goddamn thing that happends, like fuck, why do you need to know what someone said to me, it's not like you tell me anything. I have to jump through rings of fire and eat glass to know one of your rumours because I'm not really with your group, go e-fuck yourself. -I like Mudvayne. I guess this is irrelevant. -People that pressure you into buying their old shit. I don't like used stuff, maybe i'm blind and I can't realize the truth of the evil corporate masterminds that are after me, well who the fuck cares? I don't so why should you? -People that make you feel awkward like everything you say is crossing a line. -People that tell me how I need to feel, fuck you I feel goddamn nothing. -Work. But I do get money so whatever, at least they could give me a raise, I work the most hours in the category of part timers, and others get paid more then me. -There's this one girl I fucking hate more then anything else, she goes to my school but I don't know her name. I'll try to get a picture. -Young stupid stuck up spoiled kids. I need new swear words, fuck is being used too much. Or at least today it was. MOAR LAYTA
The Hate list 1st edition (updated Sept.8th)
I'm always saying "I fucking hate this" well here's my list, maybe doesn't have everything and you'll probably find some hypocritism in it but this is it.
Teenagers
-Trends they so easily follow
-How predictable they are
-How badass they think they are
-How blind they are, they think that if they all dress the same, act the same, listen to the same music, complain about the same shit, and deny they're clones that they will be individuals.
-"No one knows the pain I go through, life is too hard, my parents shower me with gifts and anything i request I get but they still don't love me and they fight so much" Shut the hell up you spoiled brat, go live in a third world country to know pain, then again you stupid emo piece of shit, they probably don't have enough mascara. (I took the masacara thing from stfne)
-On myspace when their name is something that's supposed to be catchy. ie. mine would be something like Dynamite Derek
-When it's obvious that someone is a scene kid because of their iPod their myspace account, they take pictures of themselves 24/7 and post it on the internet, when they want someone to comment their space, when they wear Poka-dots & Stripes, think they're hardcore, list everyband they know on myspace under music, etc. and they deny it if you call them scene.
Media
Music
- Pop music. Fucking always comes no matter what and trend kids that think they're hardcore underground end up listening to this shit then denying it.
- commercial music, (not music in commercials) Commercial Rap fucking sucks, Commercial Rock fucking sucks, Country in general usual sucks.
Television
- MTV IS THE WORST FUCKING CHANNEL. All those reality shows about stupid young adults living in the same house with their gay fucking glasses, and gay music and gay lifestyles, or "Date my mom" who the fuck comes up with this shit? "Room Raiders" gayest shit ever. I'm not even going to talk about that Laguna Beach show or whatever it's called. I thought MTV stood for MUSIC television, where's the music? Besides those shitty ballads playing while some girl is crying over a guy who was never interested in her.
- the media, they always focus on the bad things.
Celebrities
-Dude I seriously hate Paris Hilton, she's an ugly douche bag who thinks she owns the world. She so fucking ugly, I'm not the type to discriminate like that, but she thinks she's the hottest shit on the earth. It bothers me, she was born into a rich Family with tons of shit and if you see an interview with her she'll say "Life's so hard for me!!"
-I like how they act so great like they're emperors and we're ants under their foot, and then the tables turn and no one cares about them anymore.
Cultures/Races
-Blacks/Whites/Hispanics/O
General
-Shitty emo bands that sing about the same thing and have long names for songs.
-People that claim they're hardcore or think they're "the shit" but there's millions just like them across the world, and they're exactly the same. [You're not hardcore if you beg your parents for a cellphone]
-People that don't respect The Ramones, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, or Black Sabbath. (no not just ozzy, if you think black sabbath was just all about ozzy blow your brains out.)
-New Simpons episodes suck shit badly
-People that try to act like they're everyones hero and we all want them around. I'm not trying to alienate or ignore anyone but if you think you're better then me you can gtfo. hahaha.
-POSERS!!!! At the Rancid concert there were too many fucking 13 year old poser kids, I wanted to fucking stomp on their face with David's steel toe boots.
For now this is it. I'll be back.
Update jan.17th
-Fucking cheap people. "You gotta gimme something if I let you borrow my pen" shut the fuck up you stupid asswipe i should fucking punch you in the face you low life piece of shit.
-Fat people. It may sound harsh but they go onto television and say how painful life is because they're fat, well here's a hint tubby, LOOSE SOME FUCKING POUNDS. Unless they work out and still remain fat because their body is just like that, it's okay, but if you stuff your fucking face and say "why me? why am I so fat?" you should be fucking starved. (that wasn't really a creative torture method, but I figure it'll hurt fat people the most)
-That convience store across the street.
I'll be back.
Update Jan.26th
-I fucking hate people who think we care about their godamn opinion. I do this alot, just enforce my opinion and I'd rather I didn't but there are people that are alot more stubborn then me. (ie. the church, people that oppose the church, etc.)
-When someone commits suicide all these mothers with nothing better to do say "HOW SELFISH CAN THEY BE, THEY LEFT ME, THEY MADE ME SAD" suck my dick. The person that commited suicide could have been going through hell or worse and you want them to continue living? And you call them selfish.
-Emotionless people are fucking fags. I say this out of jealousy mostly because I find it hard not to have emotions, as you can see I hate many things.
-"Individuals"
I fear this world is doomed Until next time.
Update Feb.14th(valentines day)
-Worst fucking day of my life. I hate Valentines day, I fucking hate it. I hate R______. If you can't fill in the blanks you probably don't know me that well.
Update March.3rd
- I fucking hate when I waste days. I really wanted to go out and do something tonight but no one is home. Everyone always fucking goes somewhere without me. I fucking hate this shit. Another day wasted, another night with my head in the oven.
Update March.30th
Alright I only have a couple things for this update.
-I fucking hate like 27 year old girls who try to be models on myspace. I don't care if you have a nice chest, coloured hair, tight jeans, whatever, stop acting like your the shit and everyone wants you on their list. I'm 100% sure that like 95% of myspace models (whores is a better term) don't care about people, and just want to get to the top.
-I hate when I'm walking into school and I see a girl who tries to look really sophisticated just because she has a scarf, eye liner, a fancy fall jacket, and a tim hortons coffee. Like fuck! You're not working for some high and mighty magazine, you stand up for the national anthem in the morning like the rest of us, what makes you so fucking special? cuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnntttttt
-people that use Josh's death as a mini-publicity stunt. Like *cough* told me, like 30 people raided Josh's room taking what they could, like fuck! Do you even care that he'sgone? It's not some sort of grab all you can game, respect him you fucking scum cunts. And this is one message to a girl who I saw at the funeral...You are a not a person, you are not valued, you are non-existent. You'd sell your friends away in a second for the right price. You leech what you can from others and when they're gone you show no respect and pretend you're above them all. You compare your clothes and try to look really cool at a funeral with your nice shades and your "oddly" coloured hair, well that is a terrible thing to do. You belive you are our godess, and that we need you, life wouldn't be life without you. You're wrong, you have never been a person and you change to "be cool" all the time. If I mentioned your name you'd use this to your advantage, you'd say "I never cared about anything, I was such a punk, this is what I did at a funeral (insert my note)" You've come here and you have ruined a part of my life. There's a part of me you have killed. I hope my words each weigh a thousand pounds so that you are completely crushed by them. You are souless.
Update Arpril.11th
-Roxanne
-Fucking nerds.....one girl in my math class is getting a 98%. It's a good thing for her but it pisses me off.
-(relevant to the previous hate point) when people say "You can't hate me for getting a 98%".... uh...yeah I can? Fuck off, I can hate you for whatever reason I want, not everyone has to like you, cunt.
Update May.7th
-Sometimes the fact that I am still alive.
-Wasting my life, it's happening and knowing I can’t stop it is annoying.
-People who can't take jokes but can dish it out all they want.
-People that are heartless. Nothing gets through to them no matter how hard you try, and give, it's worthless.
-People that are really smart and try to say they stupid like most kids say today "I'm slow!!" Then why the fuck are you getting accepted to every fucking university.
-People that try to give others this image of themselves. Like, they will call themselves crazy and make sure everyone calls them crazy.
-Nicknames, gayest shit ever. What the fuck? are we in GI Joe? For Fuck Sakes can't you see how gay you are. Bunny is the only person allowed to have one.
Update Aug.7th
-When i'm mad and I don't know why.
-FUCKING NERDS
-Horny kids. Yeah Masturbation is fine but don't come up to me and say "I want to fuck her sooooooooo bad, I would give anything to __________ her" etc. We've all met someone like that, I just want to kick the shit out of them. I couldn't care less about your sexual needs.
-People who have to know everyone. Like, everyone is not enough? Why do you need to know everyone? Are you planning some sort of high time orgy record? Can you talk to 289154 people at the same time? STOP FUCKING TRYING TO BE EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE YOU ATTENTION WHORE.
-There's something I hate but I can't describe it, so I hate that too.
-The fact that I take everything for granted, so I can never say "nothing good happends to me"
-I've wanted to put "I want to die" in my msn name or facebook thing for a while but everyone would say "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME" it's just a feeling dude don't break my balls...then again probably no one would comment.
- I got 100% in science, no university will accept me with a mark that low!!
I need to overdose on something or get hit by a car.
Update Sept.8th
-First off, Asians. it may sound mean, well fuck you I want it to be mean, it's my goddamn list. Have you seen graffiti on facebook? Holy fucking shit fucks, the asians dominate that shit, then they have all their anime shit, little asian cliques, fucking everything. Well almost everything, I'm goddamn happy I have a bigger dick then them. Which almost makes me wonder, is being asian a sacrifice? Think about it, you're good at everything, but you have a small penis. I'm looking at you luis.
- People that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES", dude, stfu. Most likely all you do is sit home and watch the oc and say "That is exactly how my life is!!!!" so you assume you can't trust anyone because someone, somewhere has been betrayed. I'm not saying EVERYONE is just wanting to sound important, just most people that say "I HAVE TRUST ISSUES" If you really need words to describe it then "we trusted you - transplants" there you go, perfect for describing hate to someone who betrayed you.
- lol !!!!1!11oneoneone <- was never funny, and never will be. It's not even funny when you make fun of people that do it. Just, don't touch it. - "You ask for the time they tell you how to build a clock", Dylan could not of said it better. I hate when people always have to be better then you, or need more sympathy. "ah, I threw my back out the other day" "MY BACK HURTS ALL THE TIME, MY LIFE IS WORST" "Oh sorry man, on another note I got a new guitar- - -" "I HAVE 174601 GUITARS, MY LIFE IS BETTER" It's very, very irritating. -People that only talk about themselves, I know i tend to but I usually end up trying to talk about the other person. But fuck people that ONLY tell you stories about them or their parents or their friends, or anything just annoys me. -Glasses, the ones that almost every girl I know has. Those big fucking round glasses that are shapped like sonic the hedgehog's eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about" Yes you do, woman! -Why are girls and boys becoming so trendy, so much younger now a'days. Grade 5's don't need cell phones. Hell I only got mine in grade 10. Although plenty of you are saying "cuz u hav no freinds" I'm sure almost every girl this age doesn't need to use their phones as much as they do. -omg, i'm wasted <-I hate you. -I can't stress how much I hate when fags say "I'm cheesed" you're all retarded. Cheese = food, not emotion. -Possibly the thing I hate most, socks with holes. We're only making plans for Nigel, yo. Update Nov.22nd -Rock and Roll, fucking hate it so goddamn much. I hate the whole 20 minute gay jazz solo, I hate the whole "Were a big gay giant rock family!!" -Lenny Kravitz -The blues, I'm more or less still on my first point, I hate the gay music when it's like 12 bar blues and you got some gay singer saying "Rock and Roll for life, Can't take anymore of the bitch" and everyone yells bitch at the same time, and parents say "Oh gosh darn, I guess sometimes kids just have to have fun but only this time" FUCK YOU ALL YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOOT! -People that need to know every Goddamn thing that happends, like fuck, why do you need to know what someone said to me, it's not like you tell me anything. I have to jump through rings of fire and eat glass to know one of your rumours because I'm not really with your group, go e-fuck yourself. -I like Mudvayne. I guess this is irrelevant. -People that pressure you into buying their old shit. I don't like used stuff, maybe i'm blind and I can't realize the truth of the evil corporate masterminds that are after me, well who the fuck cares? I don't so why should you? -People that make you feel awkward like everything you say is crossing a line. -People that tell me how I need to feel, fuck you I feel goddamn nothing. -Work. But I do get money so whatever, at least they could give me a raise, I work the most hours in the category of part timers, and others get paid more then me. -There's this one girl I fucking hate more then anything else, she goes to my school but I don't know her name. I'll try to get a picture. -Young stupid stuck up spoiled kids. I need new swear words, fuck is being used too much. Or at least today it was. MOAR LAYTA
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